This is a strong response, with a series of ideas for each part, presented effectively. It starts with a note that different countries have different patterns and the writer's position is clear in the first paragraph [facilities are still of paramount importance]. The first half captures the benefits of watching performances and movies online; it saves time and money, people can watch at any time of day, with flexibility. Paragraph 4 presents the economic and cultural benefits, the big screen makes people feel more included in the experience, real live actors, who can so dome things that computers cannot, public money can be raised from get togethers for specific needs. The candidate concludes that some people think that cinemas and theatres are [non-useful places] but they believe there could bring a lot of advantages.
这是一篇有力的作答,每个部分都有一系列观点,表达有效。作文开头指出不同国家有不同的模式,作者的立场在第一段中很明确 [facilities are still of paramount importance]。前半部分阐述了在线观看演出和电影的好处;省时省钱,人们可以在一天中任何时间观看,很灵活。第 4 段提出了经济和文化方面的好处,大银幕让人们对体验更有参与感,真人演员能做到电脑做不到的一些事情,公共资金可以通过为特定需求举办的聚会来筹集。考生在结论中指出,有些人认为电影院和剧院是 [non-useful places],但他们认为它们可以带来很多好处。
Ideas are logically organised, and cohesive devices are varied. Reference is used [when | those] but with some inaccuracy [that facilities]. Some effective linking devices are used [On the one hand | Firstly | Secondly | On the other hand | On top of this]. However, paragraph 2 is one sentence, and should be combined with paragraph 3 for a more logical progression.
观点组织合乎逻辑,衔接手段多样。使用了指代 [when | those],但有些不准确 [that facilities]。使用了一些有效的衔接手段 [On the one hand | Firstly | Secondly | On the other hand | On top of this]。然而,第 2 段只有一句话,应与第 3 段合并,以使推进更合乎逻辑。
Vocabulary is a strength, with frequent high-level items and some skilful collocation [of paramount importance | differing views | watch any content] although, some errors remain [devise / device] and there are some examples of less precise language [make people feel themselves inside the movie | watchers / audiences | non-useful places].
词汇是一大优势,有大量高水平词项和一些巧妙的搭配 [of paramount importance | differing views | watch any content],尽管仍有一些错误 [devise / device],也有一些不够精确的表达 [make people feel themselves inside the movie | watchers / audiences | non-useful places]。
Grammatical structures are also varied and show some flexibility and some multi-clause sentences, including modal verbs and [if] clauses. However, most sentences are not error-free, as there are slips with articles, prepositions [in computers / on computers], other simple structures [is | are] and some missing punctuation.
语法结构同样多样,表现出一定的灵活性,并有一些多分句句子,包括情态动词和 [if] 从句。然而,大多数句子并非无错误的句子,在冠词、介词 [in computers / on computers]、其他简单结构 [is | are] 方面有失误,还缺少一些标点。
To achieve a higher score, the candidate could make the paragraphing more consistent, and aim for a greater degree of accuracy in vocabulary and grammatical structures.
要获得更高分数,考生可以让分段更加一致,并力求在词汇和语法结构方面达到更高的准确度。