Young People Volunteering in Poorer Countries

  • Charity and volunteering
  • Working abroad
  • Community

More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time doing unpaid work, such as teaching and building houses for communities in poorer countries. What are the reasons for this? Who benefits more from this, the communities or these young people?

Annotated response

3 correction notes

It is indeed a fact that any poor country can thrive with enough charity work. And youngsters from developed countries become a helping hand to such countries by doing like teaching and construction. In this essay, I will discuss the reason behind it, and we will see how it benefits both parties.

Showing kindness to others is one of the most significant gestures. We often teach our young ones to help anyone in need, regardless of race, gender, or nationality. As a result, we have observed a lot of communities from affluent countries that try to help those in desperate need of help. This act of kindness teaches them the value of human life. In this materialistic world, they learn about the importance of life. These acts also make them realize how fortunate they are and constantly them to be humble and grateful. Such qualities cannot be taught in a classroom; therefore, they try to help people from developed countries.

On the other hand, countries that struggle to provide necessities benefit from the generous act of foreign youngsters. Unfortunate people who cannot afford an education can take advantage of young talent. Also, Benefits are not limited to education only. Nowadays, volunteers also provide help to build houses or cure viral diseases with the help of advanced technology.

But still, who is more ? Well, In my opinion, both parties enjoy different benefits. Youngsters learn the most crucial lesson of kindness and develop a sense of satisfaction, and the developing country gets help with little to no investment to resolve various burning issues.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The response explains a motivation for volunteering and describes gains for both young people and receiving communities. However, the conclusion says the benefits differ without clearly answering who gains more or arguing that they gain equally. Some broad claims, weak connections and inaccurate expressions reduce the precision of the discussion.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

6.0

The response identifies kindness as a motivation and describes benefits for both groups. However, it concludes that they enjoy different benefits without clearly deciding which gains more or explaining that their benefits are equal. Some general claims also need fuller support.

Coherence and Cohesion

6.5

The response uses distinct paragraphs and has broadly understandable progression. Some connections are weak, particularly the therefore link from learning qualities outside a classroom to helping people, and the concluding comparison is introduced abruptly through a conversational question.

Lexical Resource

6.5

Vocabulary is adequate for the topic, with expressions such as materialistic world and generous act. Precision is reduced by "who is more beneficial", which asks who provides benefits, and "developed countries" where the paragraph appears to mean the poorer countries receiving help.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5

Simple and complex sentences communicate the argument clearly, although errors such as "These acts ... constantly reminds" and the noun form "doing works" are noticeable. The embedded clause "how it benefits both parties" is grammatically valid.

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