Young People Volunteering in Poorer Countries

More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time doing unpaid work, such as teaching and building houses for communities in poorer countries. What are the reasons for this? Who benefits more from this, the communities or these young people?

Annotated response

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It is common to see that an increasing number of people from developed nations are rendering voluntary services like teaching and building houses for underprivileged communities. In my opinion, youth benefit from some invaluable experiences from this more than charity work. Still, I think this can benefit the community more who are receiving this helps from the affluent countries.

While we analyze the major reasons why the trend is becoming more popular, the most sensible one is the experience the youth is expected to get while working among the underprivileged. To be precise, these communities are socially and economically backward as the literacy rate is very poor. Services such as teaching provided to these backward communities can help build their strong economy and uplift their social status. Also, small contributions can lead to having a big impact eventually. For example, many students may not have basic educational essentials like study books, materials, etc. Similarly, when houses are built in these areas, modern technology can rarely be used because of the lack of knowledge. So even the knowledge in the form of education can be imparted to them so that modern technologies can be leveraged by the underprivileged. By surviving these challenges, these volunteers get some most memorable experiences, which they can cherish throughout their life.

Turning to the benefits received, it can be undoubtedly said that it is more beneficial for the community which receives the service. This is because of massive visible changes which can be anticipated in society. For instance, the availability of qualified teachers would make the child literate and be considered one of the major factors in achieving their dreams and career goals. Likewise, constructing good houses will improve their living standards and make them more secure. On the whole, these services make them more civilized and uplift their respective communities’ status.

To conclude, it is clear that the main reason why more people from affluent nations render voluntary services to communities in poor nations is to gain a memorable experience. The receiving community definitely benefits more from this than those who deliver it.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response addresses both questions and consistently concludes that the receiving communities benefit more. Its opening comparison is awkward, but it does not clearly reverse that position. The main development weakness is that the motivation paragraph focuses heavily on community needs, while some imprecise expressions and grammatical errors reduce clarity.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

7.0

Both questions are addressed: personal experience is identified as a motivation, and the response consistently judges that communities benefit more. The opening comparison is awkwardly phrased, while the paragraph on motivation spends much of its space describing community needs rather than explaining the volunteers’ reasons.

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas are organised in logical paragraphs with clear progression and appropriate linking devices, although transitions are at times formulaic and the reasoning chain in the second paragraph drifts before returning to the point.

Lexical Resource

7.0

The response uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, including voluntary services and living standards. However, awkward comparative phrasing and expressions such as "more civilized" reduce precision; the latter does not clearly describe the specific educational or housing improvements being discussed.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

A range of complex structures is used with generally good control. The noun-form error "this helps" is noticeable, although meaning remains clear. The construction "help build" is valid and does not itself indicate a grammatical error.