Reducing City Traffic by Limiting the Need to Travel

The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home to work, shopping and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Annotated response

3 correction notes

Showing 3 correction notes.

The most viable solution to the ever-growing traffic problem in urban areas, according to some, is to minimize the citizen's need for travel to workplaces, shopping malls and schools. However, I disagree with this viewpoint and in this essay, I will explain why I possess this view. First, all professionals can not work from home. Doctors, engineers, bankers, nurses, sales executives and many other professionals have to visit their workplaces and meet people to execute their responsibilities. Similarly, if we shop online, dispatch staff will still be on the road to deliver products. In addition to this, many professional courses require field studies and course cannot provide such facilities. Online courses cannot be compared with of the products cannot be judged just by the pictures on a laptop or a phone. Thus people need to get outside to do their daily work.

To truly tackle traffic congestion, we need more realistic solutions than restricting people's movement. One such solution can be improving public transportation. The convenience of public conveyance would their private cars, which is the primary reason for bad traffic in many cities. Furthermore, the government can encourage people to use an eco-friendly mode of transport, like the bicycle, by dedicating a separate lane for them. Many European and Asian cities, for example, already have separate cycle lanes and this has been truly effective in promoting environment-friendly vehicles and reducing traffic congestion. We need to have effective ways to tackle traffic congestion rather than asking people to stay home. In conclusion, in order to minimize traffic jams, the authority should enhance mass transportation facilities and encourage people to use eco-friendly transport rather than planning to restrict people's movements.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response presents a clear disagreement with the statement and supports it with relevant arguments and examples, including alternative solutions. Ideas progress logically across well-formed paragraphs, though some points, such as online shopping and education, could be developed with greater depth and precision.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

7.0

The response addresses all parts of the task with a clear, consistent position and relevant supporting ideas, though some arguments remain somewhat general in development.

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas are logically organised with clear progression across paragraphs and a range of cohesive devices used naturally, despite occasional mechanical linking.

Lexical Resource

7.0

The response uses a sufficient range of topic-appropriate vocabulary such as 'traffic congestion', 'public conveyance' and 'eco-friendly mode of transport', with some less precise phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

A variety of complex structures are used with generally good control, with errors such as 'discourage many to use' and 'all professionals can not' that rarely impede meaning.