Corporate Sponsorship of Sports

Many companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think this is good for the world of sports, while others think there are disadvantages of this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Annotated response

15 correction notes

Showing 15 correction notes.

The way of advertisement has changed over time, nowadays sponsorship is common among the other ways. Some argued that there are many benefits to advertising, while other people think it has more drawbacks. Both views are valid, in my opinion, the

On the one hand, some people claimed that advertising is modern art and of modern business. The most obvious advantage is that companies can tell us about their product, without it we have fewer choices. For example, most of the people know through their advertising in the . Also, advertising is a creative industry that employs many people, without it, there would be high unemployment.

On the other hand, although, there are advantages of sponsorship they are also some disadvantages. Sometimes advertisements can manipulate people, especially in . Furthermore, as we live in consumer culture, advertisement companies persuade us to follow the latest trend to associate a certain brand with a higher status. Moreover, children can easily be influenced by advertisement and some of them put pressure on a parent For instance, my smallest brother asked my father to upgrade his phone with every new series.

the benefit of sponsorships the advantages of it

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 5.5

The response follows a clear two-sided structure with a stated opinion and some relevant examples, which is its strongest aspect. However, it drifts toward advertising in general rather than sports sponsorship specifically, is 19 words short of the minimum length, and contains frequent grammatical and word-choice errors that often obscure meaning.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

5.0

The response addresses both sides and gives an opinion, but the argument is largely about advertising generally rather than sports sponsorship specifically, ideas are only partly developed, and the essay falls 19 words short of the required length.

Coherence and Cohesion

5.5

There is a visible overall progression with basic linkers and paragraphing, but cohesion is at times mechanical and some connections between sentences are illogical or abrupt.

Lexical Resource

5.5

Vocabulary is adequate for the topic, but several word choices obscure the intended meaning, including cloth trends, buy think and overweight the disadvantages. The response also shifts between advertising generally and sponsorship without consistently distinguishing the two.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.0

Complex sentences are attempted, but grammatical errors and sentence-boundary problems are frequent. The clauses it a key part and the advantages more than disadvantages lack verbs, and several independent clauses are joined only by commas. The plural construction some of them put pressure is grammatical.