Changes at West Park Secondary School Since 1950

Schools
Facilities

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at west park Secondary school since its construction in 1950.

Annotated response

15 correction notes

The diagrams illustrate the alterations that have been effected at West Park Overall, the location of the main road remained unchanged However, they were eradicated and replaced by different structures.

To begin, in 1950, the location of the main road was situated along the northern border of the layout, and this remained unchanged both in 1980 and 2010. Again, the residential site and farmland which used to be located on the left-hand side of the and replaced with a and a much bigger sports field found in the southwestern part of the meanwhile, in 2010, the already mentioned portion was substituted with a much larger car parking area featuring a much smaller sports field.

Additionally, the school building used to be much smaller in 1950 as compared to and 2010 with an extension that included the addition of a science block. The playground which was found in the still remained the same in 1950 and 1980, but with the 2010 plan, the size

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The response demonstrates a clear attempt to cover the main changes across all three years, and its language shows reasonable flexibility with varied structures. However, several details are inaccurate or vague, such as the confusion about what replaced the houses and farmland, and the unclear referent in the overview weakens the opening. Lexical range is adequate but includes slips like 'car pack' and imprecise phrasing.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Achievement

6.0

The response covers the three dates and correctly describes the science-block addition and later playground reduction. The overview identifies only the unchanged road clearly, because 'they were eradicated' has no clear referent. The separate replacements of the houses and farmland also need more precise description.

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0

Progression is broadly clear with logical staging by year, but referencing breaks down, notably the ambiguous 'they were eradicated' in the overview, and some linking is mechanical.

Lexical Resource

6.5

There is a sufficient range of change-related vocabulary such as 'eradicated', 'substituted' and 'extension', though slips like 'car pack' and imprecise phrases like 'left-hand side of the town' reduce precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5

Complex sentences and relative clauses are used with reasonable control. The expression 'the location ... was situated' is redundant rather than an agreement error, while 'since it was constructed ... to the year 2010' is an awkward time construction. The unclear pronoun in the overview also weakens clarity.

More responses with feedback

View all 4 responses (6.0–7.0)