孩子每天花数小时玩智能手机

Children Spending Hours Daily on Smartphones

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.

Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

有些孩子每天花好几个小时玩智能手机。

为什么会这样?你认为这是积极的还是消极的发展?

来自本题范文

写作思路:孩子每天花数小时玩智能手机

为什么这是积极或消极类 ,要求你说明某个趋势出现的原因,并判断它是好是坏。

所以我们把思路分为原因(为什么会出现)、积极(为什么是好事)和消极(为什么是坏事)。

原因

6条思路

积极

5条思路

消极

9条思路

同一道题 · 不同范文

范文与批改

范文 01

必改建议

作文 · 290词 · 4段 · 15条批注

分数详情

范文 01
估算分数6.0/ 9

总体评价

The response addresses both parts of the question with a clear negative stance and relevant reasons, which is its strongest aspect. The main limitation is shallow and sometimes implausible development, together with repetitive vocabulary and frequent grammatical errors that occasionally strain communication.

TR

任务回应

The response addresses both questions with a clear position and relevant ideas, but development is thin and supported by weak or implausible examples, such as the claim that a colleague became blind from phone use.

6.0
CC

连贯与衔接

Progression is broadly clear across paragraphs, but cohesion is mechanical, with formulaic framing, abrupt transitions, and sentences loosely linked, such as the unprompted policy suggestion in the third paragraph.

6.0
LR

词汇丰富度

Vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some appropriate collocations, but it is repetitive (phone use, eyes glued, relax stress) and occasionally imprecise, such as 'a long duration of their time'.

6.0
GRA

语法多样性与准确性

A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but errors are frequent, including faulty parallelism, dangling constructions, and agreement problems, though the meaning is mostly recoverable.

6.0

下一步改进重点

Develop each main idea more fully with more plausible, better-explained examples rather than adding loosely connected claims.

来自本题范文

实用词汇:孩子每天花数小时玩智能手机

来自本题范文

句型:孩子每天花数小时玩智能手机

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已加载题目:大作文。
第2部分

建议用时约 40 分钟,至少写 250 词。

词数:040:00 输入第一个词后开始计时