体重上升与体能下降的原因及对策

Causes and Solutions for Rising Weight and Declining Fitness

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

在一些国家,人们的平均体重在增加,而健康和体能水平却在下降。你认为造成这些问题的原因是什么?可以采取哪些措施来解决这些问题?

来自本题范文

写作思路:体重上升与体能下降的原因及对策

为什么这是问题解决类 ,要求你指出原因或问题,并提出解决办法。

所以我们把思路分为原因与问题(起因或会出现的问题)和解决办法(如何解决)。

原因与问题

3条思路

解决办法

7条思路

同一道题 · 不同范文

范文与批改

范文 01

必改建议

作文 · 347词 · 4段 · 17条批注

分数详情

范文 01
估算分数6.0/ 9

总体评价

The response clearly addresses both parts of the task, identifying hectic work schedules and genetics as causes and proposing workplace exercise time and balanced diets as solutions, with generally logical paragraph progression. The main limitation is imprecise and sometimes misused vocabulary and idioms, along with recurring grammatical errors that occasionally strain clarity, particularly in the conclusion.

TR

任务回应

The essay addresses both causes and solutions with a relevant position and some developed support, but ideas such as the genetics point remain unevenly developed and the conclusion is partially obscured by error.

6.0
CC

连贯与衔接

Paragraphing is logical and cohesive devices are used throughout, though some links like 'Consequently' and 'Alternatively' are mechanically or inaccurately applied.

6.0
LR

词汇丰富度

There is adequate range with some apt collocations such as 'sedentary lifestyle', but idiom misuse ('get a victim', 'icing on the cake', 'is used ostensibly') and wordiness reduce precision.

6.0
GRA

语法多样性与准确性

A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but frequent errors in articles, agreement ('making a persons fat'), and clause construction repeatedly affect accuracy without fully blocking meaning.

6.0

下一步改进重点

Replace memorised idiomatic expressions and faulty phrases with precise, naturally used vocabulary, and proofread for subject-verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, especially in the conclusion.

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实用词汇:体重上升与体能下降的原因及对策

来自本题范文

句型:体重上升与体能下降的原因及对策

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写下你的作文

已加载题目:大作文。
第2部分

建议用时约 40 分钟,至少写 250 词。

词数:040:00 输入第一个词后开始计时