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美国成年人2003年与2013年的就业状况

US Adult Employment Status in 2003 and 2013

The chart shows the employment status of adults in the US in 2003 and 2013.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

该图表展示了美国成年人在2003年和2013年的就业状况。

请选择并报告主要特征来概括信息,并在相关之处进行比较。

3 篇范文估分 6.0–7.0,换你来写?

先自己写,再往下看范文和批改,差距一眼就能看出来。

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来自本题范文

要点:美国成年人2003年与2013年的就业状况

为什么这是柱状图 ,要求你比较最重要的几个类别。

所以我们把要点分为概述(最大的差异或规律)和要点(值得描述的数据和对比)。

概述

4个要点

要点

7个要点

同一道题 · 不同范文

范文与批改

范文 01

必改建议

作文 · 164词 · 4段 · 15条批注

分数详情

范文 01
估算分数6.0/ 9

总体评价

The response covers all categories and both years with a stated overview and many broadly accurate figures, which is its strongest aspect. However, frequently inaccurate or garbled phrasing (e.g., 'adolescent's employment status', 'on account of a tenth', 'unemployed was declined') and a muddled overview blur the message at several points.

TA

任务完成情况

The response attempts an overview and covers all seven categories with broadly plausible estimates. However, it calls adults adolescents, counts only six categories, and describes the final education and hotel figures as remaining equal to the earlier medical figure. The business decline also needs clear percentage-point wording rather than an unexplained percentage change.

6.0
CC

连贯与衔接

There is a visible overall structure with body paragraphs by year, but progression is mechanical and at times unclear, with disjointed statements such as 'With 5% unemployed was declined' that impede the flow of information.

6.0
LR

词汇丰富度

The writer attempts some range ('jumped up', 'proportion', 'categories'), yet imprecise or non-standard word choices like 'adolescent's employment status', 'on account of a tenth', and 'places taken by' recur and limit flexibility.

6.0
GRA

语法多样性与准确性

A mix of simple and attempted complex structures is present, but frequent errors in verb form, agreement, and article use ('adults population go down', 'was declined', 'the united states of America's adolescent's') regularly reduce accuracy.

6.0

下一步改进重点

Rewrite the overview to state the main trends precisely, and proofread numerical and comparative statements so that each proportion is expressed in standard, error-free English.

来自本题范文

实用词汇:美国成年人2003年与2013年的就业状况

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第1部分

建议用时约 20 分钟,至少写 150 词。

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