2011年至2018年商店关闭与开业情况

Shop Closures and Openings 2011-2018

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

下面的图表显示了某国在2011年至2018年间关闭的商店数量和新开业的商店数量。

请选择并报告主要特征来概括信息,并在相关之处进行比较。

来自本题范文

要点:2011年至2018年商店关闭与开业情况

为什么这是折线图 ,要求你描述随时间变化的主要趋势和变化。

所以我们把要点分为概述(整个时期的主要趋势)和要点(值得描述的数据和对比)。

概述

3个要点

要点

7个要点

同一道题 · 不同范文

范文与批改

范文 01

必改建议

作文 · 180词 · 3段 · 16条批注

分数详情

范文 01
估算分数6.0/ 9

总体评价

The response is clearly organised with a functional overview and a range of structures and vocabulary, which is its strongest aspect. However, it is severely undermined by widespread data inaccuracy: figures are inflated by a factor of ten, the closure peak is misattributed to 2015 when the graph shows it as the lowest point, and several trend claims are reversed, leaving most reported details unsupported by the visual.

TA

任务完成情况

The response includes an overview and covers both series, but it distorts the data extensively, claiming 65,000 and 85,000 closures and openings against graph values of about 6,400 and 8,500, misplacing the closure peak in 2015 when the graph shows roughly 600 that year, and describing unsupported trends such as a drop to 200 openings, so key features are inaccurately reported.

4.0
CC

连贯与衔接

Ideas are arranged in logical paragraphs with an overview and clear sequencing devices such as 'To begin with' and 'Looking at', giving generally coherent progression, though internal contradictions between statements like a 'significant reduction' followed by 'minimal variations' weaken the flow.

6.0
LR

词汇丰富度

There is a sufficient range of topic-appropriate vocabulary including 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', 'considerable drop' and 'significant turning point', with mainly accurate usage, though some phrases such as 'public preference' are unsupported and slightly imprecise.

6.5
GRA

语法多样性与准确性

A variety of complex structures, including concessive and temporal clauses and passive voice, are used with generally good control, and errors are minor and rarely impede understanding.

6.5

下一步改进重点

Recheck every data point against the graph before writing, ensuring axes are read correctly and trend directions match the visual, since factual accuracy currently invalidates most of the detail.

来自本题范文

实用词汇:2011年至2018年商店关闭与开业情况

来自本题范文

句型:2011年至2018年商店关闭与开业情况

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