Sample response & feedback

Youth School Dropout Causes and Solutions

Question

So many young people are dropping out of school these days, and as a result, the rate of unemployment is increasing. It also affects our society in different ways. Why are so many young people dropping out of school? How can this situation be improved?

Annotated response

15 correction notes

Showing 15 correction notes.

Many young students drop out of school, sometimes their families and sometimes due to other reasons, and this has severe consequences for their future and society as a whole. Sometimes those learners are to blame, but oftentimes, the system is responsible for it. The state should revise the way it runs schools, and arrange while the school authority should provide some paid jobs to needy students and help their parents to .

Many young pupils leave school without completing their education mainly to earn a wage to support their families, and this is more common in developing countries. According to a recent report, more than 30% of students leave school in South Asian countries due to financial hindrances. On the other hand, learners often drop out in developed nations because they do not like the school and towards the way schools are run. A recent survey showed that in 2019, 14% of high school students in the USA dropped out because they thought school was not interesting enough.

To improve this situation, the governments should focus on of needy parents who have school-going offspring. some incentives and job opportunities to support their children's education. , education should be free, and some subsidies should be provided to poor students. On top of that, the state can arrange re-schooling facilities for those drop-out students with some incentives and job provisions.

Besides, the school authority should make education in school to retain young students. For instance, some Japanese schools use interactive and fun methods to teach young learners, and this has increased students’ school attendance dramatically. Such initiatives should be welcomed and more widely used.

To conclude, education is the most important pillar for the development of a nation, and the school authority should help students stay in school and finish their academic years by taking effective measures.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response addresses both questions through financial pressure and disengagement, followed by government support and more engaging teaching. Its cause-and-solution organisation is clear, and the language is generally controlled. Some proposals and examples need fuller explanation, while the introduction and conclusion could align more closely with the body. Awkward collocations also reduce precision.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

TR Task Response

7.0

The response addresses both questions directly, presents a clear position in the introduction and conclusion, and supports main ideas with relevant examples and cited figures, though some claims are generalized rather than fully extended.

CC Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas progress logically across clear cause and solution paragraphs with varied cohesive devices, although some linking phrases are used slightly mechanically.

LR Lexical Resource

7.0

Vocabulary is sufficiently flexible with topic-appropriate terms and some less common items, but occasional imprecise collocations such as 'grow an apathy' and 'mend this situation' reduce precision.

GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

A variety of complex structures, including relative clauses and clauses introduced by because and while, is used with generally good control, and occasional awkward constructions rarely impede meaning.