Stricter Punishments for Driving Offenders and Road Safety

The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Annotated response

17 correction notes

Showing 17 correction notes.

Recently, a great number of accidents on the road by the careless drivers. Some people think that giving stricter punishment is the answer to tackling the driving disagree that it is the only way.

First and foremost, even the best rules have been established and imposed it would be useless if drivers have no in following . For example, there are harsh punishments when we are driving while drinking, but in road accidents caused by still exist. Thus, the main focus of this issue is all about the awareness as a driver, not just the punishment.

In addition, a government could help to improve the safety on the road by broadcasting the background knowledge of how important it is to drive prudently. It could increase about the danger that could happen only , such as the driver might take someone's life the traffic light. Then, the socialisation program is probably given in the process of to ensure every driver would receive the information.

Furthermore, the private companies, such as IT companies and transport mode companies, could collaborate with the government to create a "Smart Transportation Mode". The new software will be a car or a bike which is able to detect the speed limit of the vehicle and the level of the alcohol and stops when it reaches a certain limit. The other possibility is that the software will turn off the car's or bike's if it is too close to other kinds of transportation modes or other things. Hence, one of the road accidents like a crash a can be prevented.

In conclusion, giving the is a brilliant idea, however, I believe there are still other excellent thoughts to boost the safety on the road.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The strongest aspect is the clear, well-structured argument that stricter punishment is not the only road-safety solution, supported by three relevant alternative measures. The main limitation is recurring grammatical inaccuracy and awkward word choice, which occasionally strain meaning despite an otherwise logical progression of ideas.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

7.0

The response clearly disagrees with the 'only way' claim, develops three relevant alternative measures with examples, and reaches a clear conclusion, though some ideas are briefly or imprecisely developed.

Coherence and Cohesion

6.5

Ideas are organised into logical paragraphs with clear progression and appropriate linking devices, but some cohesive phrases are mechanical or slightly misplaced.

Lexical Resource

6.0

Vocabulary is adequate for the topic with some attempt at less common items, but frequent awkward collocations such as 'broadcasting the background knowledge' and 'boost the safety' reduce precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0

A mix of structures is attempted, yet frequent errors in verb forms, articles, and clause construction, such as 'a great number of accidents have caused' and 'even the best rules have been established and imposed it would be useless', regularly affect accuracy.