Sample response & feedback

Raising the Minimum Legal Driving Age for Road Safety

Question

Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars and riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Annotated response

13 correction notes

Showing 13 correction notes.

Many concerned policy makers today believe that raising the legal age for acquiring a license would improve road safety. In my opinion, though this might , there are superior solutions.

Proponents of this policy reform argue that a disproportionate number of accidents today are caused by younger people. In most countries, it is possible to apply for a learner’s permit at the age of 16 and soon after that a license. Teenagers often lack the maturity and experience required to drive responsibly and respond to challenging road conditions such as inclement weather and reckless drivers. If the legal age for driving was would enable young people to spend more time learning the rules of the road and becoming more mature generally. This would presumably lead to a reduction in accidents, though there is little scientific evidence to support this particular hypothesis.

In fact, the causes of collisions are more closely correlated with other underlying problems. The chief cause of vehicular accidents globally to driving under the influence of alcohol. Most teenagers are not able to purchase alcohol legally and therefore the majority of accidents are caused by individuals over the legal age for drinking. This statistic is also more prominent among older individuals whose reflexes are in decline. Furthermore, altering the designs of towns and cities would have far greater tangible ramifications. Many urban environments, for example, were built long ago and more modern understandings of motorist behaviour could be beneficial. This might include emphasising subways and other public transport as opposed to motorways.

In conclusion, despite between maturity and vehicular accidents, the most effective reforms would involve stricter drinking laws and better urban planning. These changes would be more likely to bring about the desired improvements.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The essay maintains a clear disagreement with treating a higher driving age as the best solution and organises its concession and alternatives effectively. Its vocabulary and complex sentences show range. The main weaknesses are unsupported inferences about alcohol and accident patterns, an unclear reference to a statistic, and limited explanation of the urban-planning solution. Local agreement and punctuation errors also need attention.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

TR Task Response

7.0

The response answers the question with a clear position and relevant alternatives. However, the inference from alcohol-purchase laws to accident patterns is unsupported, and the urban-planning benefit needs fuller explanation.

CC Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

The four paragraphs establish a clear overall progression from concession to alternatives and conclusion. Within the main argument, “This statistic” has an unclear referent, and the transition from alcohol to declining reflexes needs clarification.

LR Lexical Resource

7.5

The response uses a broad range of topic vocabulary and less common expressions, but some combinations are imprecise, including “engender a negligible impact” and “far greater tangible ramifications”.

GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

Complex sentences are generally controlled. The singular subject in “The chief cause ... relate” requires “relates”, and the introductory if-clause needs a comma; these local errors do not prevent understanding.