Sample response & feedback

Raising the Minimum Legal Driving Age for Road Safety

Question

Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars and riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Annotated response

13 correction notes

Showing 13 correction notes.

Enhancing road safety is a paramount concern, and the proposition of elevating the minimum legal age for driving a motorised vehicle has garnered attention as a potential solution. I firmly support the idea of raising the minimum legal driving age as an effective strategy to enhance road safety.

Firstly, adolescents and young adults are more prone to risk-taking behaviours due to their underdeveloped decision-making faculties. Increasing the driving age would allow these individuals more time to mature emotionally and mentally, resulting in more cautious and responsible drivers. For example, countries like Japan and Germany have successfully implemented higher minimum driving ages, leading to statistically lower rates of accidents involving young drivers.

Furthermore, the advent of modern technology and distractions exacerbates the risks associated with young drivers. Smartphones, social media, gaming devices and other digital platforms divert attention away from the road and young people those digital technologies. By postponing the age at which individuals can drive, authorities can therefore new drivers are better equipped to navigate the complexities of modern driving environments without succumbing to . This could result in fewer accidents caused by impaired concentration. For instance, more percentages of young drivers are prone to use their mobile phones than their adult counterparts while driving. Thus they are at more risk of road accidents due to .

In conclusion, the proposal to elevate the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike is a practical step towards improving road safety. and susceptibility to distractions among young drivers render them more prone to accidents. By providing these individuals with additional time to mature and develop sound decision-making skills, we can reduce the incidence of road accidents and create a safer environment for all road users.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.5

The response presents a clear, consistent position with well-organised and logically developed supporting arguments, backed by a strong range of precise vocabulary. The main limitation is that some supporting claims are asserted rather than substantiated with specific evidence, and a few expressions are slightly unnatural.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

TR Task Response

7.0

The response addresses the task directly with a clear, consistent position and develops two relevant main ideas, though some supporting claims, such as the statistics about young drivers and phone use, are generalised rather than substantiated.

CC Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas progress logically across well-managed paragraphs with a clear conclusion, although cohesion within paragraphs relies occasionally on mechanical devices and the link between claims and evidence is at times loose.

LR Lexical Resource

8.0

The response uses a wide range of vocabulary with natural sophistication, including items like 'paramount concern', 'underdeveloped decision-making faculties', and 'susceptibility', with only rare, minor awkwardness such as 'more percentages of young drivers'.

GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy

8.0

A range of complex structures is used with good control, including subordinate clauses, relative clauses and participial constructions. Most sentences are grammatically accurate, although several expressions elsewhere need greater lexical precision.