Sample response & feedback

Paying for Goods Using Mobile Phone Apps

Question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Annotated response

11 correction notes

Showing 11 correction notes.

Technological advancement has impacted every industry and opened up new opportunities. It has also changed the way that we currently make payments. Due to its accessibility and ease, mobile phone applications like digital wallets are seeing a rise in popularity for transactions. This essay will discuss how the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

Making the transition to has a number of benefits. Firstly, this method of payment is easy to use and convenient. Anyone with a bank account and a debit card can complete the easy-to-understand payment procedures. Secondly, it lessens the necessity of carrying when venturing outside. Finally, it gives users access to that allows them to monitor transactions on a daily basis. For example, the GooglePay mobile app keeps a passbook that can be viewed at any time to see the payments made from the account, which lessens the likelihood of disputes arising from transactions between parties.

On the other hand, the main problem of digital payment is the rise in fraud and cybercrime. These days, thieves are highly creative and constantly coming up with new ways to . To exemplify, many incidents have been reported where lakhs of rupees were swiped from people’s accounts by tricking them into sharing their unique authentication PIN. Moreover, the possibility of technical malfunctions that could cause payment procedures to be disrupted is a serious drawback. For instance, software faults or network connectivity problems could momentarily make mobile payment apps unusable, which would be inconvenient for consumers and might even result in financial disruptions.

To sum up, using a phone to make payments has several advantages that improve people’s daily lives. But when making payments, one should be cautious and aware of the risks.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response gives a clear initial position and discusses relevant benefits and risks, with examples of transaction records, fraud and technical failures. The organisation is easy to follow and complex language is generally controlled. However, some advantages are only briefly explained, and neither the body nor the conclusion establishes clearly why the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

TR Task Response

7.0

The response discusses relevant advantages and disadvantages and states a clear position in the introduction. Examples support both sides, but some benefits remain briefly listed, and the argument does not explain sufficiently why the advantages outweigh the risks.

CC Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas are logically organised into clear paragraphs with effective use of cohesive devices and examples, showing consistent progression throughout.

LR Lexical Resource

7.0

The response uses a useful range of topic vocabulary, including digital wallets, cybercrime and network connectivity. Some choices lack precision, particularly audit feature and take advantage of people’s money.

GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

The response uses complex structures with generally good control, including relative clauses and passive constructions. The unclear singular pronoun in Due to its accessibility and ease is a noticeable local weakness.