Sample response & feedback

Paying for Goods Using Mobile Phone Apps

Question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Annotated response

11 correction notes

Showing 11 correction notes.

In recent years, paying for goods and services through mobile phone apps has become a widespread phenomenon in many countries. While there are some disadvantages associated with this development, I believe that the advantages outweigh them.

One possible disadvantage of paying using mobile phones is the potential risk of fraud and cybercrime. Hackers and cybercriminals can steal personal information and access people's accounts, leading to financial losses . For example, a person using a mobile payment app might receive a phishing email that looks like it’s from the app provider, prompting them to click on a link and enter their login details. If they fall for this scam, hackers could gain access to their account and make unauthorized transactions, leading to financial loss and potential identity theft.

, the key benefit of using mobile phone apps for payment is convenience and swiftness. With this method, customers no longer have to carry cash or cards with them, which . The process of paying using a mobile phone is very fast and . This can save people a lot of time and hassle, especially in busy cities where carrying a lot of cash or credit cards can be inconvenient or risky. For example, when travelling on public transport in a busy city, a person can simply use their phone to scan a QR code and pay for their fare instantly, without needing to fumble through their wallet for cash or cards. This quick and hassle-free transaction not only saves time but also reduces the chances of losing cash or cards while navigating crowded areas.

In conclusion, the advantages of using mobile phone apps for payments far outweigh the disadvantages. This method of payment is convenient, secure, and provides benefits for people. As technology continues to advance, it is likely that mobile phone payments will become even more popular in the future.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response presents a clear position and develops both sides through relevant examples, including a detailed phishing scenario and payment on public transport. Its language is generally accurate and flexible. The main limitation is that the essay does not explicitly explain why everyday convenience outweighs potentially serious fraud. The conclusion also introduces security as a benefit without developing it, while “On the contrary” misrepresents the relationship between the two body paragraphs.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

TR Task Response

7.0

The response presents a clear position that advantages outweigh disadvantages and develops both sides with relevant examples. However, it does not explain explicitly why convenience outweighs the potential harm from fraud, and the conclusion introduces security without developing that benefit.

CC Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Progression is logical across clear paragraphs with generally appropriate linking devices, although 'On the contrary' is misused where a contrastive adverbial like 'on the other hand' is needed, and some cohesion relies on repetition.

LR Lexical Resource

7.0

Vocabulary is sufficiently flexible and precise for the topic, with natural collocations such as 'phishing email', 'unauthorized transactions' and 'hassle-free transaction', with only occasional vague phrasing like 'provides benefits for people'.

GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.5

A wide range of complex structures is used with strong control, including conditionals, relative clauses and participle clauses. Errors are rare and do not impede meaning; the repeated “leading to” construction is grammatical, although it offers less syntactic variety.