Sample response & feedback

Negative Impact of Advertising on People's Lives

Question

Write about the following topic Today, people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Annotated response

11 correction notes

Showing 11 correction notes.

The ubiquity of advertising in today’s world is undeniable, as it has permeated nearly every aspect of our lives. From my point of view, although the proliferation of advertising changes what facets or values of life , I do not totally agree that it solely has negative implications for the way people live their lives. Admittedly, it is true that advertising shapes people’s perception of what should be considered as important. Firstly, the bombardment of various forms of advertisements has given rise to a culture in which consumerism and materialism are promoted. In other words, the accumulation of material possessions and over other values and experiences, which potentially results in a shallow pursuit of happiness when people are led to believe that what they possess is a determinant of their worth and value in society. In addition, some advertisements use manipulative or deceptive tactics to tempt consumers into buying products they may not need or that do not live up to their claims. to emotions, create unrealistic desires, and exploit vulnerabilities, leading people to make impulsive and sometimes regrettable decisions. However, there are convincing arguments against the blanket statement that advertising detrimentally influences people’s lives. To begin with, advertising serves as a valuable source of information about products, services, events, and new innovations, which in turn allows consumers to stay informed about the options available in the market and provides details that can assist them in making informed decisions. Secondly, commercials have a crucial role to play in enabling businesses to build and reinforce brand identity. By increasing via advertising, companies can target new markets and expand their customer base, both domestically and internationally, which contributes to long-term business success. On top of that, some forms of advertising provide a platform through which social issues are brought to the fore and awareness-raising campaigns can receive more attention among the public. In conclusion, while it is understandable why the advertising industry impacts what people regard as important, I am of the opinion that advertising also brings a great number of benefits to consumers, businesses and even society at large.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.5

The response acknowledges advertising’s influence and develops relevant arguments about materialism, manipulation, information and commercial benefits. Its strongest feature is a broad, generally natural vocabulary. The main limitations are that it answers a stronger claim about solely negative effects and that some benefits, particularly business expansion, need a clearer explanation of how they improve people’s lives.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

TR Task Response

7.5

The response offers a qualified position and relevant explanations of advertising’s harms and benefits. However, rejecting solely negative effects narrows the prompt’s claim, and some benefits need a clearer link to people’s lives and more specific development.

CC Coherence and Cohesion

7.5

Ideas are logically organised into clear paragraph functions with a range of cohesive devices used naturally, and progression throughout is generally seamless, with only occasional slightly formulaic sequencing.

LR Lexical Resource

8.0

A wide and precise vocabulary is deployed flexibly, including natural collocations such as bombardment, exploit vulnerabilities, and brought to the fore, with only rare lapses in natural usage.

GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.5

A wide range of complex structures, including relative and concessive clauses, is used with good flexibility and general accuracy, with only minor errors such as subject-verb agreement in the accumulation of material possessions and products take precedence.