Sample response & feedback

Negative Impact of Advertising on People's Lives

Question

Write about the following topic Today, people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Annotated response

26 correction notes

Showing 26 correction notes.

Nobody would dispute the fact that promotions a vital role in our society. Individuals hardly believe that whatever they are is exactly correct, and they do . I hold the view that they should not be allowed.

Initially, the lion part of our media and other forms of publications are ruled by advertisements. Whenever a brand new product arrives in a market, approach the agencies for reputable ads. They believe that it is the face of a particular product. of our population various types of advanced electronic gadgets like TV, mobile phones and laptops. , are available . Apart from this, bus stations, railways and even airports are often covered with these ads. Watching these mediums, we cannot that people are the particular product, and they are using these items without any knowledge.

In addition, it is . Designing, printing, canvassing and marketing are widely interrelated to particular fields. Government or any other organizations cannot provide a large scale of employment same like this. The fast-food and beverages industry on commercials because the customer’s emotions.

On the other hand, there is the darker side of the popularity of advertisements. Some of the users felt some difficulties after using specific commodities. For example, after using . But, users cannot blame the advertisements or product because, in the description, they clearly mention the issue that there are chances for these types of side effects.

In conclusion, individual commercials are part of our life. It is our responsibility to understand and choose reality wisely. Overall I am convinced that a negative impact on our life.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 5.5

The strongest aspect is the attempt at a multi-angle response covering advertising's reach, employment, and consumer harm. The main limitation is an unstable position: the introduction argues advertising should not be allowed, while the conclusion concludes it does not create a negative impact, leaving the argument contradictory and underdeveloped.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

TR Task Response

5.0

The response addresses the topic and offers supporting ideas, but the position shifts from opposing advertising in the introduction to rejecting its negative impact in the conclusion, and key claims are stated rather than fully developed.

CC Coherence and Cohesion

6.0

Paragraphing is sensible and progression is broadly clear, but cohesion is at times mechanical and some internal logic, such as the side-effects paragraph, does not clearly support the stated argument.

LR Lexical Resource

5.5

Vocabulary is adequate for the topic with some appropriate collocations, though expressions like 'the lion part' and 'most flourished field of employments' show imprecision and limited flexibility.

GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.5

A mix of sentence types is attempted, but frequent tense, agreement, and article errors, such as 'promotions played' and 'Two third of our population had availed', reduce overall grammatical accuracy.