Sample response & feedback

Living in an Apartment vs University Dormitory

Question

Some people believe that living in an apartment instead of a university dormitory has many advantages while others say that it has many disadvantages. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in an apartment instead of a university dormitory. What type of accommodation would you prefer? Why?

Annotated response

10 correction notes

Showing 10 correction notes.

Living in an apartment as opposed to a university dormitory is a topic that elicits varied opinions. While some argue that apartments offer numerous benefits, others argue that they come with significant drawbacks. In this essay, I will discuss both merits and drawbacks of living in an apartment for a student, and provide insights into why I personally prefer the accommodation provided by the university.

One advantage of living in an apartment is the greater sense of privacy and independence it affords. Unlike dormitories where residents often share common spaces and facilities, individuals in apartments have their own private living quarters, allowing them to enjoy solitude and autonomy. For example, they can cook their own meals, entertain guests, and adhere to their own schedules . Another advantage is the potential for a higher standard of living and comfort. Apartments typically offer more space and amenities compared to dormitory rooms, providing residents with a greater degree of comfort and convenience. For instance, apartments may feature larger living areas, private bathrooms, and modern appliances, enhancing the overall quality of life for occupants.

However, it is important to acknowledge the disadvantages of apartment living. Firstly, apartments are generally more expensive than dormitory accommodation, placing a greater financial burden on students. For example, in cities like London or New York, where the cost of living is already high, renting an apartment near the university campus can significantly strain a student's budget, making it challenging to cover other essential expenses such as tuition fees and study materials. Additionally, living off-campus may result in longer commutes to university, leading to increased travel time and expenses.

In conclusion, while living in an apartment offers certain advantages such as privacy and comfort, it also comes with drawbacks such as higher costs and longer commutes. Personally, I would prefer to live in accommodation provided by the university.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response covers both sides of the discussion in well-organised, clearly linked paragraphs with relevant examples, which is its strongest aspect. The main limitation is that the stated preference for university accommodation is asserted in the conclusion rather than explained, leaving the personal-choice part of the task underdeveloped.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

TR Task Response

6.5

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages with relevant support, but the required explanation of the writer's own preference is only stated, not developed or justified, leaving part of the task partially treated.

CC Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas progress logically through clear paragraphing with a range of cohesive devices used naturally, and the argument is easy to follow throughout.

LR Lexical Resource

7.0

Vocabulary is flexible and reasonably precise, with good use of topic-related terms such as 'commutes', 'financial burden', and 'amenities', though some phrasing is slightly formulaic and repetitive.

GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

A variety of complex structures, including subordinate clauses and participial phrases, is used with generally good control. Sentences such as the cost example remain clear despite their length, and grammatical errors are rare and do not impede understanding.