Sample response & feedback

Living in an Apartment vs University Dormitory

Question

Some people believe that living in an apartment instead of a university dormitory has many advantages while others say that it has many disadvantages. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in an apartment instead of a university dormitory. What type of accommodation would you prefer? Why?

Annotated response

12 correction notes

Showing 12 correction notes.

After getting admitted to a university, students need to decide where to live, and this choice affects their academic performance and student life. While many choose university halls, others opt to live in an apartment, and it has both benefits and demerits. This essay examines both the advantages and disadvantages of living in a separate apartment in a university residence. Personally, I would prefer to live in a university residence.

Living in an apartment offers many distinctive advantages, and privacy is one of them. While a student in a dormitory has little privacy, someone in an apartment enjoys far better privacy and freedom. Learners who live in can choose a quiet neighbourhood, and this environment is conducive to studying attentively. Furthermore, living in an apartment makes students more independent, and they can choose a better diet. For instance, one of my cousins moved to an apartment after living in a university dormitory for about six months, and he did so because he hated the food offered in his university canteen.

Having said that, living in an apartment rather than a university dormitory has some visible disadvantages. First and foremost is the cost. In my country, living in an apartment is quite expensive while the university offers cheap accommodation. The food is also cheaper in the university dining halls. Second, renting an apartment in my city is hard for a student. The landlords prefer families over students. Furthermore, the daily commuting is convenient from the university halls while not so easy from the apartments away from the university campus.

Even though there are many benefits of living in an apartment over living in a university hall, I would still prefer to live in the university dormitory. The primary reason for me to be able to attend my classes without commuting through bad traffic.

In conclusion, both independent apartments and university offer advantages and disadvantages to university students. I would prefer to live in a university hall but I believe students should based on their own preferences and budget.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response fully answers all parts of the task, presenting balanced discussion of both sides and a clear personal preference, with generally logical paragraph organisation. The main limitation is occasional imprecise or inaccurate word choice and a few grammatical slips that slightly reduce polish rather than impede meaning.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

TR Task Response

7.0

All parts of the task are addressed with a clear position, relevant advantages and disadvantages, and a supported personal preference, though the final reason is underdeveloped.

CC Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas progress logically through clear paragraphing and a range of cohesive devices, with only occasional mechanical linking such as abrupt transitions.

LR Lexical Resource

6.5

There is adequate range for the topic, but several inaccurate word choices, such as 'disciples', 'severely affects', and 'university residents', reduce precision.

GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5

A mix of sentence structures is used with generally good control, though one sentence fragment and occasional minor errors limit the award of a higher band.