Having Children Later in Life

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Annotated response

4 correction notes

Showing 4 correction notes.

With paradigm shifts in social beliefs and people's fascination with careers, they tend to become parents at a later stage. Several reasons are responsible for this, and I believe that it has more negative consequences.

To begin with, the when people get married has increased significantly. As a result, childbirth is naturally delayed. According to a recent survey, many young people who start their careers after their university graduation are more focused on their jobs than having their own family. Besides, many young people are undecided whether to marry or not. Eventually, when they get married, many of them are already in their mid-thirties, and they take some time to settle and have some financial stability before having their first child. Furthermore, the old belief that a girl should manage a family and have children earlier has changed, and more wives work in offices than ever. The decline of the joint family has also contributed to this trend as couples solely decide to have a baby, unlike in the past.

If we notice the severe detrimental impacts this trend has, we will surely try to reverse it. The most outcome of this trend is the number of couples who struggle to become parents. It is scientifically proven that the infertility rate among couples is higher who try to become pregnant after their mid-thirties. Some couples eventually break up their marriages due to this, and it brings unfathomable social problems. Furthermore, having a child in the early years of marriage makes the couple more family-oriented and this eventually helps them have a better future.

To conclude, late marriage, nuclear family structure, and more focus on jobs are the main reasons people become parents at a later stage in their lives. I think this trend has more adverse results than positive outcomes. So it is expected that married people would carefully consider different negative and positive aspects of having babies later in their lives.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response explains several relevant reasons and consistently judges the trend to have more adverse results. The final invitation to consider both sides does not reverse that position. Its main limitations are broad, insufficiently supported claims and awkward placement of a relative clause in the discussion of infertility.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

7.0

The response explains several reasons for delayed parenthood and maintains a clear position that the disadvantages are greater. Some health and social claims are broad and insufficiently developed, and the possible benefits identified in the reasons paragraph could be compared more directly with the disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas are logically organised into clear paragraphs with a range of cohesive devices used naturally, although progression within some paragraphs is occasionally loose.

Lexical Resource

7.0

Vocabulary is flexible and largely precise, with less common items such as 'paradigm shifts' and 'detrimental impacts', alongside a few imprecise word choices like 'cynical outcome'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5

Complex structures are attempted with generally clear meaning. However, who try is placed after higher, away from the noun couples that it describes. Moving the relative clause next to couples would clarify the sentence; this is a placement problem rather than subject-verb disagreement.