Sample response & feedback

Future Preference for Domestic Holidays Over Travel Abroad

Question

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Annotated response

11 correction notes

Showing 11 correction notes.

Domestic tourism will in the future with more and more people choosing to spend their holidays in their own country rather than travelling abroad. I agree with this opinion for several reasons that I will outline in this essay.

First, domestic tourism will be a more affordable option for many people as international travel will be more expensive in the future. By avoiding the costs associated with international travel such as airfare, and visas, people can often save money and still have a fulfilling travel experience. This is why more and more people will choose to travel rather than take an international vacation. For example, in my own country, the Philippines, there are many beautiful destinations such as Boracay, Palawan, and Siargao that offer stunning beaches, clear waters, and unique local experiences. By choosing to travel domestically, people can explore these destinations and support the local tourism industry.

Second, many people will understand that domestic tourism can provide a much-needed boost to local economies. By choosing to stay within their own country, people are able to support local businesses such as hotels, restaurants, and attractions. This can have a positive impact on employment rates and contribute to the development of local infrastructure. Many people will choose to travel to domestic destinations to support the local economy.

Finally, travelling within one's own country can offer a unique and authentic travel experience. And many people would like to explore the different regions and cultures within their own country to gain a greater understanding and appreciation of their own country's history, traditions, and natural beauty. This can also help to promote national pride and unity.

In conclusion, I believe that the trend towards domestic tourism will increase in the future and it would be a positive development that should be encouraged. It can provide economic benefits, offer unique and authentic travel experiences, and be a more affordable option for many people.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response presents a clear, consistently maintained position with three relevant, developed reasons and a concrete Philippine example. Its strongest aspect is the sustained task focus and well-organized paragraphing, while the main limitation is repetitive phrasing and somewhat formulaic idea restatement, with occasional minor grammatical slips.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

TR Task Response

7.0

The essay directly answers the question with a clear position, develops three relevant reasons with a specific example, and reaches a coherent conclusion, though development of some points is somewhat repetitive rather than extended.

CC Coherence and Cohesion

6.5

Paragraphing is logical and sequencing is clear, but cohesion relies on formulaic restatement of the same claims within paragraphs, giving progression a slightly mechanical feel at times.

LR Lexical Resource

7.0

Vocabulary is sufficiently flexible for the topic, including authentic and contribute to the development of local infrastructure. Some collocations, such as get more momentum and hotel rent, are imprecise, and recurring phrases reduce variety.

GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

A range of complex structures is used with generally good control. The preposition in travel with their country is inaccurate, but meaning remains clear; beginning a sentence with And is not itself a grammatical error.