Sample response & feedback

Future Challenges in Environment Population and Education

Question

Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment but population and education as well. What problems, in your opinion, will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome?

Annotated response

15 correction notes

Showing 15 correction notes.

The world is increasingly changing with technological improvements, making it a complicated environment . As a result, the world will be in jeopardy due to global warming, overpopulation, pollution, and depletion of resources. The majority of countries, including India, will experience some of the most serious issues, such as population growth and unemployment . As a result, the following essay will analyze the existing problems and potential remedies.

To commence with, India is the second-most populous country globally, with a population of over 1.3 billion people. In the subsequent years, India’s population growth is expected to surpass China, making it the world’s most populated country. Lack of jobs, housing scarcity, corruption, and the spread of diseases will be some of the many problems occurring due to the soaring population, which is an alarming concern that must be addressed quickly. Apart from that, unemployment will be another challenge faced by the country, eventually leading to poverty. , unequal access to higher educational opportunities, lack of formal vocational education, high school dropout rates, insufficient skill training capacity, and other factors will all contribute to unemployment in a country. Consequently, there will be a severe impact on people’s lives if these issues are not resolved in the near future.

Therefore, the government should take concrete steps and introduce novel measures to overcome the population problem. The government can provide health, educational or even financial incentives as they have proved to be a highly effective population measure. The government could pass a bill limiting the number of children a couple can have. Even public awareness campaigns and programmes can help limit the growing population. As a result, if population growth is kept under control, the unemployment rate . To address the issue of unemployment, the educational system needs to be reformed, and the government can implement new employment schemes in small-scale companies with basic policies that will offer job opportunities to the local youth of the country.

To summarise, an excessive population has numerous negative consequences, and India, as a populous country, substantial unemployment and population challenges . Therefore, improved population control measures, competent government initiatives, and employment schemes must be fairly implemented to overcome these difficulties.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response directly answers both parts of the question, identifying population growth and unemployment in India and proposing reasonably developed solutions with clear progression throughout. Its strongest aspect is the well-organised, consistently relevant argument, while the main limitation is somewhat formulaic phrasing and solutions that remain general rather than deeply elaborated.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

TR Task Response

7.0

The response addresses all parts of the task with a clear focus on India, presents a relevant position, and supports main ideas about population and unemployment with explanation, though the development of solutions remains somewhat general.

CC Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas are logically organised across clear paragraphs with a range of cohesive devices used naturally, although transitions such as 'as a result' and 'to commence with' are occasionally formulaic.

LR Lexical Resource

7.0

Vocabulary has range, including 'depletion of resources' and 'vocational education', but 'monstrous population' is overly emotive and 'upcoming future' is redundant and imprecise.

GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

Relative clauses and conditionals show a range of complex structures with generally good control. Local problems include the missing preposition after 'survive', the missing article in 'Large population', and a non-parallel comparison between population growth and China.