Sample response & feedback

Company Sponsorship of Sports Events

Question

Large companies use sports events to promote their products. Some people think this has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and relevant examples.

Annotated response

10 correction notes

Showing 10 correction notes.

Large companies frequently sponsor sports events as a way to market their products to massive audiences. While this financial support appears beneficial on the surface, I agree that excessive commercial influence has a negative impact on sports. The following paragraphs will more detail on this idea and back up with some examples.

Firstly, corporate sponsorship often shifts the focus of major competitions away from athletic excellence and towards profit generation. When brands dominate stadiums, uniforms, and broadcasts, the essence of fair competition can be overshadowed by advertising. For example, many cricket tournaments today are named after brands rather than sporting traditions, which dilutes the cultural identity of the sport and makes events feel more like marketing campaigns than athletic contests.

Secondly, sponsorships can create inequalities among teams and athletes. Popular sports and well-known athletes attract , leaving less mainstream sports struggling for financial survival. This imbalance reduces diversity in the sporting world and leads to a situation where commercial value determines which sports receive visibility. A clear example is how Olympic athletes from less popular disciplines often receive minimal support because they do not promise high advertising returns.

However, supporters of sponsorship argue that it provides essential funding for training facilities and international competitions. Although this may be true, such funding frequently comes with strings attached, including pressure on athletes to promote products they do not believe in. This undermines their independence and the integrity of the sport.

In conclusion, although sponsorship can bring financial benefits, I believe that the overwhelming commercialisation driven by large companies has a negative effect on sports. It diverts attention from athletic talent and creates disparities that harm the overall sporting landscape.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.5

The response presents a clear position against excessive commercial influence, supported by relevant arguments about sporting identity, unequal funding and athlete independence. Its paragraphs progress logically and use a varied range of vocabulary and complex sentences. The main opportunity is to explain the links between sponsorship and the claimed harms more fully, and weigh those harms against the acknowledged funding benefits. The introduction also contains a spelling error and a mismatched pronoun.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

TR Task Response

7.5

The essay fully addresses the question with a clear position, relevantly developed main ideas, and appropriate examples including a considered counterargument.

CC Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas progress logically across well-organised paragraphs with cohesive devices used naturally, though transitions are occasionally mechanical.

LR Lexical Resource

7.0

Vocabulary is sufficiently flexible and precise for the topic, with some less common items like commercialisation and dilutes the cultural identity, alongside minor slips.

GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.5

A wide range of complex structures is used with generally good control and frequent error-free sentences, with only occasional minor inaccuracy.