Unpaid Community Work Instead of Prison for Prisoners

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Annotated response

4 correction notes

Showing 4 correction notes.

Punishment for a crime is meant to discipline offenders while also isolating them from society by taking away their freedom and giving them a chance to during prison time. Some people opine that such punishment is brutal and should be more lenient, like awarding community work to minor offenders. I disagree with this view because jail time is given only after a proper investigation , and light punishments for crimes can not be effective in curbing crimes in many countries.

Our judicial system works systematically and considers the intent of committing a crime. Thus a drunk driver who crosses the speed limit and someone who does so to reach a hospital to treat an ill elderly are not treated equally. And light offenders are always given a chance to defend themselves. They are often just fined an amount of money rather than being behind bars. Since we already have a system to punish serious offenders and just reprimand light offenders, we do not need to award community work to certain criminals.

Moreover, community work, as an outcome of a crime, fails to rehabilitate a convict mainly because are too light to make the offender regret his or her actions. The jails are made to reform someone when that person is considered a threat to society. And if they are not isolated, properly counselled, and given the time to repent, they will probably commit even bigger crimes in the future. For instance, according to a recent study, almost 30% of juveniles who are just given community or voluntary work for their minor offences often end up committing bigger crimes within a year.

To conclude, our law and judicial system consider the intent and circumstances of a crime and award punishments accordingly. So we do not need community work for crimes because this approach lacks the main objective of rehabilitating criminals.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The response presents a clear, consistently maintained disagreement and supports it with relevant reasoning and an illustrative statistic, showing solid organisation. Its main limitation is the uneven persuasiveness of the arguments, some of which assert rather than fully develop the claimed flaws of community-based punishments.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

6.5

The response addresses the question directly with a clear position maintained throughout, and main ideas are supported with explanation and an example, though some arguments remain underdeveloped and the reasoning is occasionally overstated.

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas are organised logically across clear paragraphs with generally effective cohesion, although a few mechanical linkages, such as sentences beginning with 'And', slightly reduce the smoothness of progression.

Lexical Resource

6.5

Vocabulary is sufficient and reasonably flexible for the topic, with some apt collocations, but there are occasional imprecise word choices, such as 'habilitate' and 'award community work', and noticeable repetition of key phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5

The response uses a range of simple and complex structures with generally good control. Occasional noun-phrase errors reduce accuracy, such as "an ill elderly", which needs a noun such as "person" after the adjective. Beginning a sentence with "And" is not itself a grammatical error.