Sample response & feedback

Choosing Between a Life Without Work and Working

Question

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Annotated response

10 correction notes

Showing 10 correction notes.

It is suggested that when given the choice of whether to work most of the time or not to work at all, people would always opt for the latter. Despite acknowledging some would do so, with this suggestion since there are still people who enjoy working and try to seek a work-life balance.

Proponents of a life without work often highlight the potential for an improved quality of life. They would argue that employment can be a source of significant stress, leading to various physical and mental health issues, which is why some would quit to improve their health. Some would also say that instead of dedicating a substantial portion of their lives to their jobs, people could invest that time in nurturing family relationships and exploring new experiences, thereby forging lasting memories with loved ones. They usually cite the examples of affluent individuals who have left high-powered corporate roles to focus on self-care, family, or travel to dream destinations.

Nevertheless, it is important to recognize that this perspective does not resonate with everyone. In fact, there are people who would still choose to since this gives them a purpose. For these individuals, professional achievements not only bring them a sense of accomplishment but also for themselves and their society, all of which are important and meaningful . Rather than opting for a life entirely devoid of work, they strive to establish a balance between their professional responsibilities and personal pursuits, thereby enabling them to lead fulfilling lives.

In conclusion, it is understandable why some would make the choice of not working at all . However, I would take the view that this does not universally apply and that several people would still choose to work and aim to strike a balance that allows them to enjoy both their careers and their personal lives.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response clearly rejects the claim that everyone would choose not to work and presents a fluent discussion of stress, family life and professional purpose. Its organisation and generally controlled language are strengths. However, the argument repeatedly substitutes work-life balance for the demanding working life in the question, and the case for choosing that life needs more concrete development.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

TR Task Response

6.0

The disagreement with “always” is clear, and the discussion of stress, family life and purpose is relevant. However, the defence of working repeatedly introduces work-life balance rather than establishing why someone would prefer working most of the time to a life without work.

CC Coherence and Cohesion

7.5

Ideas progress logically through well-structured paragraphs with a range of cohesive devices used naturally, producing a generally fluent and coherent argument.

LR Lexical Resource

7.5

Vocabulary is flexible and precise, with natural collocations and some less common items such as 'devoid of work' and 'strike a balance', with only occasional awkward or repetitive phrasing.

GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.5

A wide range of complex structures, including relative and concessive clauses, is handled with good control and frequent error-free sentences, with only minor slips.