Children Making Their Own Everyday Choices

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Annotated response

5 correction notes

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Freedom is always a matter of controversy as there is no particular rule or limit to it. Each person has their own definition of freedom. In a similar way, allowing young children to make their own decisions on basic matters has brought up different views from different groups of people. In this essay, different avenues on the given topic will be explored to help us decide on the amount of freedom children should be given without hampering their personality.

It is a common belief that to make one strong, one should be allowed to take their own decisions and fight their fears, even if they do not succeed in the end. In the same way, in the developing years of a child, he/she should be allowed to make decisions, even if they are minor ones, like clothes, food, entertainment. If their decision-making qualities are cultivated from an early age, they will become independent individuals when they grow up. But, some people think that the trait of individuality is synonymous with being selfish or caring less about other individuals. This is because they tend to generalize the concept that if one without taking others into consideration, it is selfishness. Being self-centered has nothing to do with from a young age. They can be egotistical for different reasons like pampering, lack of guidance, , among others.

In some cases, young children tend to get used to making decisions on their own and get diverted in the process. For example, a child is allowed to eat junk food all the time and spend his time idling with friends. If he continues to do this on his own, after a certain time, his health might be affected, or he might end up with wrong ‘friends’. As they grow up, they are accustomed to the idea that as it is their life, all decisions should be theirs alone. This might make them impervious to the needs of others or their needs before others.

To conclude, I would like to say that the role of the parents or elders is extremely crucial in the development of decision-making and the amiable personality of an individual. If the child is not properly guided at home, he/she can become narrow-minded. So, it is the close relatives who can mentor the young generation to grow on their own and at the same time instill a sense of responsibility and help them understand the difference between right and wrong. It will not only help them in the long run but also create a better society for everyone.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The strongest aspect is the response's complete coverage of both views with a clear personal position on parental guidance, supported by a relevant example about junk food and peer influence. The main limitation is that some ideas are imprecisely expressed and paragraph links are occasionally mechanical, which blurs development at points.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

6.5

The response addresses both views and states a clear opinion that guidance from parents is decisive, with relevant explanation and an example, though some ideas are unevenly developed and the connection between selfishness and decision-making is at times loosely argued.

Coherence and Cohesion

6.5

There is a clear overall progression with paragraphing and linking devices, but cohesion is at times mechanical and transitions such as the shift into the counterargument weaken the logical flow.

Lexical Resource

6.5

The response shows an adequate range of vocabulary with some less common items such as 'impervious' and 'instill a sense of responsibility', though occasional imprecision, such as 'different avenues', reduces accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5

A variety of complex structures is used with generally good control, but recurring errors in pronoun reference and clause construction, such as 'their needs before others', affect clarity at points.