Children Making Their Own Everyday Choices

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Annotated response

6 correction notes

Showing 6 correction notes.

The question of whether children should be given the freedom to make their own decisions is still being debated. While many are convinced that overindulgence might lead to a child being spoiled, others consider that the skill of decision-making is necessary to teach children from the very beginning. The argument will look into both the viewpoints which will be elaborated in the further paragraphs.

To begin with, many claim that letting children even on trivial matters such as food, clothes, or the kind of entertainment could negatively affect the kid. This is because if a kid is not being directed and they are always allowed to make decisions, they might to give in or even notice other people's needs. Therefore, such kids may then end up being the kind of people who do not have a caring or supportive attitude due to the excessive liberty that their parents gave them.

In contrast, would claim that even kids being involved in the character of the child. Through this process, kids will not only learn but also gain the understanding of consequences while learning to take responsibility for their actions. Moreover, children are also less likely to be struggling with their emotions and issues of self-awareness if they are treated as being part of the decision-making process. Thus, it is necessary that children must communicate that their opinion matters.

I believe that children should have the option to choose for themselves but under the supervision of their parents or guardians within the clearly defined limits. This is predominantly because complete freedom may cause harm while very strict control may hinder the development of the individual. This method where parents offer support while giving children choices suitable for their age can turn out to be a win-win situation. As a result, the kids will learn to be responsible and become considerate members of society.

To conclude, even though complete freedom of choice can result in egocentric behaviour, the decision-making process under the supervision of an adult is a significant factor in a child's formative years. It can be said that the merging of freedom and supervision is the most practical way to nurture people who can think for themselves while also being respectful of others.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The strongest aspect is the complete, balanced treatment of both views with a clearly stated and consistently developed personal opinion of supervised choice. The main limitation is occasional awkward phrasing and slightly imprecise word choice, which makes some sentences sound unnatural without obscuring the message.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

7.0

The response addresses all parts of the task, discusses both viewpoints with developed supporting ideas, and presents a clear, sustained personal position.

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

The essay is logically organised into clear paragraphs with a range of cohesive devices, though referencing and some transitions are occasionally mechanical.

Lexical Resource

7.0

There is a sufficient range of vocabulary for the topic, but some collocations and expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as 'even in the least matters' and 'severe hardship learning to give in'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

A range of complex sentences is used with generally good grammatical control. Some constructions are cumbersome, especially the sentence beginning "In contrast", but meaning remains clear. The progressive infinitive in "less likely to be struggling" is grammatically valid.