Sample response & feedback

Social Responsibilities of Businesses vs Making Money

Question

As well as making money businesses also have a responsibility towards society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Annotated response

19 correction notes

Showing 19 correction notes.

Earlier, it was considered that the sole purpose of was to make a profit. After the Bhopal Gas Tragedy, the Indian government the Environment Protection Act in 1986 to emphasize the social responsibilities that every business should bear. In this essay, I will present my agreement with the fact that besides profit-making, companies all over the world should be accountable to society.

When an individual or a group of individuals establish a their main aim is to make a profit. No one in the right frame of mind would want a loss or a failed company. Keeping that in mind, companies should also the people who work to make the company successful. Unfortunately, in order to increase their gains, most companies exploit their employees by not providing proper incentives and working conditions and evade taxes. Sometimes, business giants even thwart small commercial houses by controlling the market.

Although a good percentage fulfill the above-mentioned duties, 90% of the companies do not follow the environmental regulations. It is a well-known fact that due to overexploitation, the environment is degrading at an alarming rate. So, it is of utmost importance that the companies make their products and services environmentally friendly. Moreover, corporate giants like should contribute some of their earnings for the betterment of as well as improve the basic living conditions .

However, there are certain business houses fulfill their by creating employment opportunities and paying taxes. They to make a living and develop their skills. The taxes they pay every year help the government to bring in more development and better infrastructure to the country.

In the end, I would like to concur with the notion that even though their main motive is to earn profits, multinational and successful regional companies should motivate small companies to grow, help the youth to strive harder and aid the government to develop and preserve the environment.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response clearly agrees that businesses have responsibilities beyond profit and discusses employees, environmental protection and wider social benefits. Its historical reference provides relevant context, but named corporations alone do not develop an example. Broad claims about exploitation and environmental non-compliance need stronger explanation, and the role of the paragraph beginning “However” is unclear. Occasional awkward vocabulary also reduces precision.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

TR Task Response

7.0

The response addresses all parts of the question, maintains a clear and consistent agreement position throughout, and supports it with relevant examples, though some ideas remain generally rather than fully developed.

CC Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas are organised into recognisable paragraphs covering workers, the environment and wider social benefits. Progression is generally clear, although the move to charitable giving and the role of the paragraph beginning “However” need clearer connections.

LR Lexical Resource

7.0

The response uses a range of topic vocabulary, including “environmental regulations” and “infrastructure”, and attempts less common expressions. Awkward choices such as “social devoir” and “develop the environment” sometimes reduce precision.

GRA Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

A variety of complex structures, including concessive and relative clauses, is used with reasonable flexibility, and most sentences are error-free with only minor grammatical and punctuation slips.