Letter to Introduce Yourself to Your Workplace Mentor

  • Work
  • Advice
  • Arrangements

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor – an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor. Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter • give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience • explain what help you hope your mentor can give • suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor Dear ....................,

Annotated response

18 correction notes

,

I am your new colleague to you to and seek your advice. I appreciate your time and thank you for reading the letter.

, a quite good university, I worked for Uniuni, which was a delivery company. , I developed a system whereby workers can manage the delivery process more effectively since developing systems was my major . also developed , will be useful to you. Any guidance would be very helpful, and it very much.

I am wondering if will be , for I hope I can . Please let me know if is not suitable for you.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

,

Tom

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points in a suitably polite tone, which is its main strength. However, the detail is thin and occasionally confused, such as saying the relationship-management skill will be useful to the mentor, and recurring spelling and grammatical slips limit precision throughout.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Achievement

6.0

The purpose is clear and all three bullet points are addressed, but the outline of studies and experience and the requested help are thinly developed and include a confused detail about skills being useful to the mentor.

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0

Progression is broadly clear with a logical paragraph order, though some linking within paragraphs is mechanical and a few ideas, such as the transition into the meeting request, are awkwardly connected.

Lexical Resource

6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the communicative task, with some appropriate workplace phrasing, but errors such as 'inquire information', 'convient', 'appreicate' and 'Best regard' reduce precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0

A range of structures is attempted, including participle and relative clauses, but recurring errors such as 'Graduated from university of Windsor, a quite good university, I worked' and 'the next Friday' affect accuracy.

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