Export Earnings by Category in 2015 and 2016

5 Sample Responses · Bands 7.0–9.0

The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Sample responses and feedback

Response 01

Must fixSuggested

The bar graph compares the export earnings of a country in billions of dollars from five different product categories in 2015 and 2016 while the table data outlines the percentage change in export amount in 2016 than that of the previous year.

Overall, petroleum and engineered products were the main export earners for this country both in 2015 and 2016, and the export amount increased in 2016 than the previous year except for gems and jewellery commodities.

In detail, the country earned approximately 220 billion dollars from its export trades in 2015 which increased by around 10 billion dollars next year. In 2015, earnings from petroleum export were over 60 billion dollars, the highest amount, while engineered goods brought in nearly 58 billion, the second-highest. Next year, they made roughly 63 and 62 billion respectively. Jewellery and agricultural products consisted of 70 billion in 2015 while textile goods secured around 27 billion, which was the lowest. In 2016, the country exported just over 30 billion dollar's textiles and agro merchandise each and nearly 40 billion dollar's jewellery.

Moreover, in 2016, the value of jewellery products dropped by nearly 5%. Besides, the price of engineered goods soared by 8.5% while the highest increase was for textile products - over 15%. Finally, the price of petroleum and agricultural merchandise in 2016 increased by 3% and approximately 1% respectively than that of the year before.

Score details

Response 01
Estimated band7.0/ 9

Overall assessment

The response is clearly organised and covers both visuals with a useful overview of the leading categories and the direction of change. Its percentage changes and approximate aggregate earnings are broadly supported. The main reporting problem is describing changes in export earnings as changes in product prices. Comparison structures and expressions such as “consisted of 70 billion” also need correction, while the overview could include textiles’ strongest relative growth.

TA

Task Achievement

The response gives a relevant overview, covers all five categories and reports the percentage changes accurately or with reasonable rounding. The approximate combined totals are defensible; the clearer limitation is repeated confusion between export earnings and product prices, which the visuals do not measure.

6.0
CC

Coherence and Cohesion

The information is organised logically with clear paragraphing, a linking of chart and table data, and effective cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'In detail', and 'Moreover', producing a generally smooth progression.

7.0
LR

Lexical Resource

Vocabulary is sufficiently flexible and precise, with items like 'export earnings', 'soared', and 'secured the lowest', though some phrasing such as 'export amount increased... than the previous year' and 'agro merchandise' is awkward or imprecise.

7.0
GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

A good range of structures is used with mostly accurate control, including complex comparisons with “while”. Errors in “increased in 2016 than” and the possessive “dollar’s” constructions require correction, but the intended comparisons remain understandable.

7.0

What to work on next

Keep export earnings distinct from product prices throughout. Use “compared with” or “from 2015 to 2016” for changes, and add textiles’ largest percentage increase to the overview.

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