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掌上游戏和移动娱乐的危害

Harm of Handheld Games and Mobile Entertainment

The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices are harmful to individuals and to the society they live in.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

掌上设备上的视频游戏等娱乐方式唾手可得,这对个人及其所处的社会都有害。

你在多大程度上同意或不同意?

1 篇范文估分 7.0,换你来写?

先自己写,再往下看范文和批改,差距一眼就能看出来。

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来自本题范文

写作思路:掌上游戏和移动娱乐的危害

为什么这是观点类 ,要求你判断是否同意题目中的说法。

所以我们把思路分为同意的理由(支持该说法)和不同意的理由(反对该说法)。

同意的理由

4条思路

不同意的理由

2条思路

同一道题 · 不同范文

范文与批改

范文 01

必改建议

作文 · 299词 · 4段 · 10条批注

分数详情

范文 01
估算分数7.0/ 9

总体评价

The essay develops relevant benefits and drawbacks through clear paragraphs, with effective discussion of stress relief, social connections and health. Its balanced view is apparent, but the degree of agreement with the claim of harm remains implicit. Some claims about productivity and society are broader than the supporting reasoning warrants. Vocabulary and complex grammar are generally well controlled, though the concluding pronoun reference needs clarification.

TR

任务回应

The essay develops relevant benefits and drawbacks for individuals and society, but its degree of agreement remains implicit and some claims extend beyond the supporting explanation.

7.0
CC

连贯与衔接

Ideas progress logically across well-organised paragraphs with effective linking devices, with only minor mechanical lapses in cohesion.

7.0
LR

词汇丰富度

Vocabulary is sufficiently flexible and precise, using topic-appropriate expressions such as work-related stress and like-minded individuals, with only occasional minor slips.

7.0
GRA

语法多样性与准确性

A range of complex structures is used with generally good control, and errors are occasional and rarely impede meaning.

7.0

下一步改进重点

State explicitly how far you agree that handheld entertainment is harmful, and carry that judgment into the conclusion. Qualify broad claims about productivity and society, distinguishing appropriate leisure use from excessive gaming.

来自本题范文

实用词汇:掌上游戏和移动娱乐的危害

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写下你的作文

已加载题目:大作文。
第2部分

建议用时约 40 分钟,至少写 250 词。

词数:040:00 输入第一个词后开始计时