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儿童每天看电视的影响

Daily TV Viewing for Children

Some people think watching TV everyday is bad for children. Others think it is good for developing children as they grow up. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

有些人认为,每天看电视对儿童有害。另一些人认为,这有益于儿童在成长过程中的发展。请讨论这两种观点,并给出你自己的看法。

2 篇范文估分 7.0,换你来写?

先自己写,再往下看范文和批改,差距一眼就能看出来。

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来自本题范文

写作思路:儿童每天看电视的影响

为什么这是讨论类 ,要求你讨论两种对立的观点,并给出自己的看法。

所以我们把思路分为第一种观点(支持第一种观点)和第二种观点(支持第二种观点)。

第一种观点

4条思路

第二种观点

5条思路

同一道题 · 不同范文

范文与批改

范文 01

必改建议

作文 · 303词 · 4段 · 13条批注

分数详情

范文 01
估算分数7.0/ 9

总体评价

The response discusses educational benefits and risks and maintains a clear opinion favouring television with parental guidance. Paragraphing and complex language generally support the argument. However, it focuses on programme selection without directly examining daily viewing, and the crime example draws a causal conclusion from a reported viewing habit. Some awkward collocations also reduce precision.

TR

任务回应

The response discusses both views and maintains a clear qualified opinion. However, daily viewing is not directly examined, and the crime example assumes a causal link that its stated evidence does not establish.

7.0
CC

连贯与衔接

Ideas are logically organised with effective paragraphing and a range of cohesive devices used naturally, with only occasional mechanical linking.

7.0
LR

词汇丰富度

Vocabulary is sufficiently flexible and precise, with good use of topic-related terms such as 'unsuitable', 'detrimental impact' and 'constructive', despite some less idiomatic combinations.

7.0
GRA

语法多样性与准确性

A variety of complex structures is used with generally good control. The missing determiner or plural in “learn violent attitude” is a minor grammatical error; “broadcasted” is an accepted past form and should not be counted as a grammatical error.

7.0

下一步改进重点

Explain how daily viewing affects children and what limits you support. In the crime example, distinguish a viewing habit from evidence of causation; then refine awkward phrases such as “learn violent attitude”.

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实用词汇:儿童每天看电视的影响

来自本题范文

句型:儿童每天看电视的影响

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