投诉手机迟迟未修好的信

Letter of Complaint About an Unrepaired Mobile Phone

You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days after purchase it has stopped working. You spoken to the company representative a week ago but the phone has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter – introduce yourself – explain the situation – say what action you would like to company to take.

你买了一部新手机,购买几天后它就停止工作了。你一周前已经和公司代表谈过,但手机仍然没有修好。给公司写一封信。在信中 – 介绍你自己 – 说明情况 – 说出你希望公司采取什么措施。

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书信要点:投诉手机迟迟未修好的信

为什么这是正式书信 ,要求你用正式的语气回应每个提示点。

所以我们按题目列出的每个提示点整理要点。

Introduce yourself

4个要点

Explain the situation

8个要点

Say what action you would like to company to take

6个要点

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范文与批改

范文 01

必改建议

作文 · 48词 · 5段 · 2条批注

分数详情

范文 01
估算分数5.0/ 9

总体评价

The letter's strongest aspect is its clear overall format, with a suitable salutation, closing, and a recognizable complaint purpose. Its main limitation is severe brevity: the self-introduction and explanation of the situation are missing, and the demand for a refund appears without the necessary background detail.

TA

任务完成情况

The response fails to cover two of the three required bullet points, since the writer neither introduces themselves nor explains the purchase and repair situation, and the refund request is stated with no supporting context, falling well below the required length.

4.0
CC

连贯与衔接

Progression is minimal because the message jumps directly from an announcement of a faulty phone to a refund demand without any linking detail, producing very limited and unevenly connected content.

4.5
LR

词汇丰富度

The vocabulary is relevant and appropriately formal for a complaint, including phrases like 'faulty mobile phone' and 'insist on getting a refund', but it is far too restricted in range to show flexibility.

5.0
GRA

语法多样性与准确性

Both main sentences contain subordinate structures: a relative clause identifies the purchase, and a conditional clause sets out the refund request. The present perfect have purchased is valid because no finished past time is specified. The very short response gives limited evidence of sustained grammatical range, and if the replacement does not arrive would express the future condition more naturally.

6.0

下一步改进重点

Expand the letter to cover all three bullet points, adding who you are, when and where you bought the phone, what went wrong, and what happened with the representative, before stating your requested action.

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实用词汇:投诉手机迟迟未修好的信

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句型:投诉手机迟迟未修好的信

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写下你的作文

已加载题目:G类小作文。
第1部分

建议用时约 20 分钟,至少写 150 词。

词数:020:00 输入第一个词后开始计时