申请澳大利亚的照看孩子工作

Application Letter for Childcare Job in Australia

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child.

Write a letter to the parents. In your letter

explain why you would like the job

give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ

say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

你在一本澳大利亚杂志上看到一则广告,招募一个人与一个家庭同住六个月,并照看他们六岁的孩子。

给孩子的父母写一封信。在信中

解释你为什么想要这份工作

详细说明你为什么是适合雇用的人选

说明你在澳大利亚期间会如何度过空闲时间

不需要写任何地址。

信的开头写:

Dear Sir or Madam,

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书信要点:申请澳大利亚的照看孩子工作

为什么这是正式书信 ,要求你用正式的语气回应每个提示点。

所以我们按题目列出的每个提示点整理要点。

Explain why you would like the job

4个要点

Give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ

9个要点

Say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

5个要点

同一道题 · 不同范文

范文与批改

范文 01

必改建议

作文 · 233词 · 1段 · 10条批注

分数详情

范文 01
估算分数7.0/ 9

总体评价

The letter addresses all three bullet points and supports the application with relevant childcare experience and a parenting course. Its main practical weakness is the unresolved difference between living with the uncle and taking the advertised live-in job. Presenting the whole letter in one block also weakens organisation, while some awkward wording and casual transitions reduce the professional tone.

TA

任务完成情况

The letter addresses motivation, relevant childcare experience and free-time plans. However, the stated intention to live with an uncle for six months needs reconciling with the family's live-in requirement, and the sightseeing plans could be identified more explicitly as free-time activities.

7.0
CC

连贯与衔接

Ideas progress from purpose to qualifications and plans in Australia, but the greeting, body and sign-off are all in one block. Separating these into appropriate letter sections would clarify the progression; 'By the way' also introduces practical details too casually.

7.0
LR

词汇丰富度

Vocabulary is generally adequate and topic-relevant, but phrases like 'proper experiences', 'render a great service', and 'a bundle of joy' show occasional imprecision and unnatural collocation.

6.5
GRA

语法多样性与准确性

A good range of sentence structures, including conditionals and relative clauses, is used with mostly accurate control, with only minor errors such as 'I have proper experiences' affecting naturalness.

7.0

下一步改进重点

Clarify whether you can live with the family for the full six months, then separate the greeting, purpose, qualifications, free-time plans and closing into readable letter sections.

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实用词汇:申请澳大利亚的照看孩子工作

来自本题范文

句型:申请澳大利亚的照看孩子工作

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写下你的作文

已加载题目:G类小作文。
第1部分

建议用时约 20 分钟,至少写 150 词。

词数:020:00 输入第一个词后开始计时