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2003年六国用水情况

Water Use in Six Countries in 2003

The table below describes water usage for 3 different purposes in 6 countries in 2003.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

下表描述了2003年6个国家在3种不同用途上的用水情况。

请选择并报告主要特征来概括信息,并在相关之处进行比较。

1 篇范文估分 7.5,换你来写?

先自己写,再往下看范文和批改,差距一眼就能看出来。

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来自本题范文

要点:2003年六国用水情况

为什么这是表格 ,要求你对关键数据进行归类和比较。

所以我们把要点分为概述(表格中的主要规律)和要点(值得描述的数据和对比)。

概述

2个要点

要点

5个要点

同一道题 · 不同范文

范文与批改

范文 01

必改建议

作文 · 163词 · 5段 · 9条批注

分数详情

范文 01
估算分数7.5/ 9

总体评价

The response reports all six countries accurately and groups similar water-use profiles effectively. Agriculture dominates in four countries, while domestic use leads in Canada and Australia; making that contrast explicit would strengthen the overview. The writing uses varied structures and useful comparisons, although an incomplete sector phrase, article choices and the verb form “Japan use” reduce precision.

TA

任务完成情况

All six countries and all three purposes are covered with accurate figures and relevant comparisons. The overview identifies the dominant agricultural pattern, but explicitly contrasting Canada and Australia would improve selection; Japan could also be related to the other agriculture-led countries.

8.0
CC

连贯与衔接

Paragraphs progress logically through countries with similar profiles. The Canada–Australia comparison is easy to follow, while the separate Japan paragraph would be more integrated if it explicitly compared Japan with the agricultural-use group.

7.0
LR

词汇丰富度

Terms such as “profiles” and “share” support clear comparisons. Greater precision would come from using “shares” rather than “ratios”, identifying percentages as proportions of total use, and choosing a neutral size description instead of “insignificant”.

7.0
GRA

语法多样性与准确性

The response uses varied complex sentences with generally strong control. Local slips include the incomplete phrase “in industrial”, the article in “The Canadian agriculture”, punctuation after “however”, and the past-tense form needed in “Japan use”.

8.0

下一步改进重点

State the domestic-use exceptions explicitly in the overview, connect Japan’s 66% agricultural share to the other agriculture-led countries, and proofread incomplete sector phrases and past-tense verbs.

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建议用时约 20 分钟,至少写 150 词。

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