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九国1994年与2004年的失业率

Unemployment Rates in Nine Countries in 1994 and 2004

The graph below shows the percentage of people unemployed in the total labour work force across 9 countries in 1994 and 2004.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

下图显示了1994年和2004年9个国家失业人口占劳动力总数的百分比。

请选择并报告主要特征来概括信息,并在相关之处进行比较。

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先自己写,再往下看范文和批改,差距一眼就能看出来。

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要点:九国1994年与2004年的失业率

为什么这是表格 ,要求你对关键数据进行归类和比较。

所以我们把要点分为概述(表格中的主要规律)和要点(值得描述的数据和对比)。

概述

3个要点

要点

7个要点

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作文 · 226词 · 4段 · 9条批注

分数详情

范文 01
估算分数8.0/ 9

总体评价

The response covers all nine countries and both years, with a clear overview and logically organised comparisons. The reported endpoint figures are accurate, but Poland’s increase is expressed in percent rather than percentage points, and grouping Japan’s rise with Australia’s as marginal weakens the comparison. Vocabulary and sentence structures are varied, though a few broad or awkward expressions reduce precision. “Bucked this trend” accurately describes the four countries whose rates increased.

TA

任务完成情况

All nine countries and both years are covered with accurate endpoint figures and a clear overview. However, Poland’s change needs percentage-point units, and Japan’s increase should be distinguished from Australia’s much smaller rise.

8.0
CC

连贯与衔接

The response progresses logically from overview to 1994 to 2004, with cohesive devices and referencing used flexibly and naturally throughout.

8.0
LR

词汇丰富度

Vocabulary is varied, with effective comparisons such as “occupied a middle tier” and “bucked this trend”. Precision is occasionally weakened by awkward collocation such as “surged to possess” and broad wording such as “economic landscape”.

8.0
GRA

语法多样性与准确性

A wide range of complex structures, participial phrases, and comparison forms is used with strong control and only rare minor slips.

8.0

下一步改进重点

Use percentage points for differences between rates, distinguish Japan’s 2-point rise from Australia’s 0.4-point increase, and make the unemployment rate the grammatical subject when describing a fall.

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实用词汇:九国1994年与2004年的失业率

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句型:九国1994年与2004年的失业率

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