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1978年至2008年各年龄组每月看电影的比例

Monthly Cinema Attendance by Age Group (1978–2008)

The graph below shows the percentage of people by age group visiting the cinema at least once per month in one particular country between 1978 and 2008.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

下图显示了1978年至2008年某个特定国家各年龄组中每月至少去一次电影院的人所占的百分比。

请选择并报告主要特征来概括信息,并在相关之处进行比较。

2 篇范文估分 7.5,换你来写?

先自己写,再往下看范文和批改,差距一眼就能看出来。

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来自本题范文

要点:1978年至2008年各年龄组每月看电影的比例

为什么这是折线图 ,要求你描述随时间变化的主要趋势和变化。

所以我们把要点分为概述(整个时期的主要趋势)和要点(值得描述的数据和对比)。

概述

3个要点

要点

4个要点

同一道题 · 不同范文

范文与批改

范文 01

必改建议

作文 · 214词 · 4段 · 8条批注

分数详情

范文 01
估算分数7.5/ 9

总体评价

The response is well organised and linguistically fluent, covering all age groups with relevant data selection and comparison. Its overview captures the contrasting net changes, but some details are inaccurate: the 35–49 figure is presented as a share of all cinema-goers, and the 25–34 plateau is dated incorrectly. The older groups' early declines are also understated.

TA

任务完成情况

The response covers all four age groups and gives a defensible overview of their net changes. However, it misidentifies the denominator of the 35–49 group's percentage and incorrectly says the 25–34 group stabilised at 80% from 1988 onwards; the older groups' initial declines also need clearer reporting.

7.0
CC

连贯与衔接

Paragraphing is logical with a clear introduction, overview, and detailed body, and cohesive devices are used naturally, though the internal contradiction in the trend narrative slightly disrupts clarity.

7.0
LR

词汇丰富度

Vocabulary is flexible and precise, with sophisticated items such as 'closely followed by', 'rebounded', 'albeit', and 'pronounced patterns', used accurately with no noticeable errors.

8.0
GRA

语法多样性与准确性

A wide range of complex structures, including varied participial and relative constructions, is handled flexibly and accurately, with only very minor lapses.

8.0

下一步改进重点

Check what each percentage measures and match trend phases to the dates: report attendance within each age group, and place the 25–34 group's 80% plateau in 1998–2003 before its final decline.

来自本题范文

实用词汇:1978年至2008年各年龄组每月看电影的比例

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建议用时约 20 分钟,至少写 150 词。

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