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三大手机厂商1994年至2004年销量占比

Mobile Phone Sales by Three Manufacturers 1994–2004

The line graph below illustrates the proportion of mobile phone sales by three manufacturers (Motorola, Nokia and Sony Ericsson) between 1994 and 2004.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

下面的折线图展示了1994年至2004年三家制造商(Motorola、Nokia 和 Sony Ericsson)的手机销量所占的比例。

请选择并报告主要特征来概括信息,并在相关之处进行比较。

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要点:三大手机厂商1994年至2004年销量占比

为什么这是折线图 ,要求你描述随时间变化的主要趋势和变化。

所以我们把要点分为概述(整个时期的主要趋势)和要点(值得描述的数据和对比)。

概述

2个要点

要点

8个要点

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范文 01

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作文 · 181词 · 4段 · 9条批注

分数详情

范文 01
估算分数8.0/ 9

总体评价

The response covers all three manufacturers with a clear overview, well-chosen figures and a logical progression from starting positions to later trends. It effectively identifies the reversal between Nokia and Motorola. The main limitation is precision: the overview confuses market share with sales volume, while some broad trend wording hides smaller turning points. Grammar is strongly controlled apart from the mixed range construction in the final sentence.

TA

任务完成情况

The response gives a clear overview of the changing rankings and selects key figures and turning points for all three manufacturers. However, the overview calls a gain in market share an increase in sales, and the early Sony Ericsson trend could be described more precisely.

8.0
CC

连贯与衔接

Ideas progress logically from overview to start values to decade trends, with cohesive devices such as 'conversely' and 'over the following ten years' used naturally.

8.0
LR

词汇丰富度

Vocabulary is flexible for describing trends, including "soaring to a peak" and "general decline". Precision is less consistent in "increase in sales" and the broad phrase "fortunes changed dramatically", where the measured variable should be named directly.

8.0
GRA

语法多样性与准确性

The response uses complex sentences, contrast with "while", and participial clauses with strong control. Errors are rare, although "between 10-15%" should use the paired construction "between 10% and 15%".

8.0

下一步改进重点

Keep the measured variable explicit: describe changes in market share rather than sales volume. Then distinguish sustained rises and falls from fluctuation, especially Sony Ericsson’s rise from 1995 to 1998.

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实用词汇:三大手机厂商1994年至2004年销量占比

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句型:三大手机厂商1994年至2004年销量占比

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