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1985年至2003年不同来源的能源产量

Energy Production by Source from 1985 to 2003

The charts below show the proportion of the energy produced from different sources in a country between 1985 and 2003.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

下面的图表显示了1985年至2003年间某国不同来源所生产能源的比例。

请选择并报告主要特征来概括信息,并在相关之处进行比较。

2 篇范文估分 6.5–8.0,换你来写?

先自己写,再往下看范文和批改,差距一眼就能看出来。

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来自本题范文

要点:1985年至2003年不同来源的能源产量

为什么这是饼图 ,要求你比较各部分的比例和占比最大的部分。

所以我们把要点分为概述(占比最大的部分或主要变化)和要点(值得描述的数据和对比)。

概述

2个要点

要点

7个要点

同一道题 · 不同范文

范文与批改

范文 01

必改建议

作文 · 177词 · 4段 · 11条批注

分数详情

范文 01
估算分数6.5/ 9

总体评价

The response covers all six energy sources and identifies oil as the largest source in both years. However, it misreports the initial oil share and the final coal share, while the overview omits the main shifts. Awkward collocations, passive constructions and an incomplete natural-gas clause also reduce clarity and precision.

TA

任务完成情况

The response covers all six sources and identifies oil as the largest contributor in both years. However, it gives the 1985 oil share as 59% rather than 52% and describes the 2003 coal share as two fifths rather than 22%. The overview would be stronger if it also summarised the main increases and decreases.

6.0
CC

连贯与衔接

The introduction, overview and two detail paragraphs provide a logical sequence. However, openings such as “Having a deep look” and “Moving forward to the rest description” are mechanical, and “which reduced” leaves the reference to the nuclear share unclear.

7.0
LR

词汇丰富度

There is adequate lexical range for describing proportions and trends, but imprecise collocations such as 'participating in less ratio' and 'noticed for' reduce flexibility and accuracy.

6.0
GRA

语法多样性与准确性

Simple and complex structures are attempted, but errors such as “which were occurred”, “was decreased” and “13% and 23% noticed” show problems with verb forms and complete clauses, despite generally recoverable meaning.

6.0

下一步改进重点

Verify every proportion against the chart before writing, especially fractional expressions, and refine sentence structures such as passive and relative constructions.

来自本题范文

实用词汇:1985年至2003年不同来源的能源产量

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写下你的作文

已加载题目:A类小作文。
第1部分

建议用时约 20 分钟,至少写 150 词。

词数:020:00 输入第一个词后开始计时