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1984年至2003年各年龄段每月看电影的比例

Monthly Cinema Attendance by Age Group (1984–2003)

The graph shows the percentage of visiting the cinema once a month or more between 1984 to 2003 (4 age groups).

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

该图显示了1984年至2003年间每月去电影院一次或以上的人所占的比例（4个年龄组）。

请选择并报告主要特征来概括信息，并在相关之处进行比较。

1 篇范文估分 7.0，换你来写？

先自己写，再往下看范文和批改，差距一眼就能看出来。

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开始写这道题
范文（1） 要点（7） 词汇（2）

来自本题范文

要点：1984年至2003年各年龄段每月看电影的比例

为什么这是折线图 ，要求你描述随时间变化的主要趋势和变化。

所以我们把要点分为概述（整个时期的主要趋势）和要点（值得描述的数据和对比）。

概述

2个要点

要点

5个要点

同一道题 · 不同范文

范文与批改

范文 01

必改建议

作文 · 183词 · 4段 · 15条批注

分数详情

范文 01
估算分数7.0/ 9

总体评价

The response is well organised, covers all four age groups and gives a clear overview of their overall increases. The 15–24 group remains highest throughout, although this should be expressed as a proportion rather than a number of people. The estimate of approximately 35% in 1992 is defensible. More evidence of intermediate turning points, clearer ratio language and careful handling of the mismatch between the prompt’s dates and the plotted endpoint would improve the report.

TA

任务完成情况

The response covers all four age groups and identifies the overall increases and the leading group. Its approximately 35% estimate for 1992 is defensible. However, it compares numbers of people rather than proportions, gives limited evidence for intermediate fluctuations, and does not resolve the mismatch between the prompt’s date range and the later plotted endpoint.

6.0
CC

连贯与衔接

Ideas are arranged logically with clear paragraphing, a coherent overview, and effective use of linking devices such as meanwhile, turning to, and in comparison.

7.0
LR

词汇丰富度

The response uses a varied range of trend language, including erratic pattern and fluctuating wildly. Some expressions lack precision: more people substitutes counts for proportions, twice higher than is ambiguous, and stopped at is less suitable than ended at for describing the chart’s endpoint.

7.0
GRA

语法多样性与准确性

A good range of structures is used, including participle and relative clauses, with generally reliable accuracy. Errors include the missing of in 10% people, malformed age-range compounds and a consistent growth. The present tense in the age-label clause is understandable, though past tense would align more smoothly with the historical account.

7.0

下一步改进重点

Compare age-group proportions rather than population counts. Add a peak and subsequent trough to support the description of fluctuations, and distinguish the 2003 tick from the later plotted endpoint.

来自本题范文

实用词汇：1984年至2003年各年龄段每月看电影的比例

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写下你的作文

第1部分

建议用时约 20 分钟，至少写 150 词。

词数：020:00 输入第一个词后开始计时