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成年人各出行方式的年均距离

Adult Travel Distance by Mode in 1977 and 2007

The table below gives information about the average annual distance travelled by adults and the types of travel in 1977 and 2007.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

下表提供了1977年和2007年成年人年均出行距离及出行方式的信息。

请选择并报告主要特征来概括信息,并在相关之处进行比较。

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先自己写,再往下看范文和批改,差距一眼就能看出来。

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来自本题范文

要点:成年人各出行方式的年均距离

为什么这是表格 ,要求你对关键数据进行归类和比较。

所以我们把要点分为概述(表格中的主要规律)和要点(值得描述的数据和对比)。

概述

3个要点

要点

6个要点

同一道题 · 不同范文

范文与批改

范文 01

必改建议

作文 · 241词 · 4段 · 11条批注

分数详情

范文 01
估算分数7.5/ 9

总体评价

The response covers all seven modes and both years, with a clear overview of increases and decreases and useful comparisons, including the fourfold rise in taxi travel. However, it incorrectly calls the interval 40 years and repeatedly treats distance figures as evidence of popularity or preference. The year-by-year organisation is easy to follow, although some comparisons and expressions are cumbersome. More precise descriptions of the measured quantity would strengthen the report.

TA

任务完成情况

The response reports all seven modes and both years with correct mileage figures and a clear overview of increases and decreases. However, it incorrectly describes the interval as 40 years and infers popularity, preference and commuting patterns from average annual distances. The description of car travel as doubling is a reasonable approximation.

8.0
CC

连贯与衔接

Information is logically sequenced from overview to year-by-year detail with effective cohesive devices, though some linking phrases such as 'Meanwhile' and 'Similar changes were seen' are used somewhat mechanically.

8.0
LR

词汇丰富度

Vocabulary is varied, but some expressions are cumbersome or imprecise. 'Occupied the position as' and 'underwent a descending trend' can be replaced with direct descriptions of distances, while 'most prevalent' and 'most preferred' introduce meanings that the table does not establish.

7.0
GRA

语法多样性与准确性

A wide range of structures is used, including complex participial and relative clauses with generally strong accuracy, though some constructions are repetitive and a few phrasings are awkward.

7.0

下一步改进重点

Correct the interval to 30 years and describe average annual distances rather than popularity, preference or commuting. Pair each mode directly with its figure, and replace cumbersome expressions such as 'underwent a descending trend' with clear descriptions of distance changes.

来自本题范文

实用词汇:成年人各出行方式的年均距离

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