Products and Treatments to Look Younger

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Annotated response

22 correction notes

Showing 22 correction notes.

In recent times, anti-aging creams and treatments are available on the market to help people to look young. I disagree with the statement, because most of the beauty with some side effects and those treatments are very expensive.

Firstly, manufacturing companies of beauty products are advertsing their creams everywhere, so more people are getting them. customers are using products without proper about them. is . Futhermore, anti-aging treatments are not cheap and most of the common people can not these treatments are not . are going for it by using credit cards and .

On the other hand, had . So he searching for the treatments and found one him almost $10000. After 1.5 , and he lost all the hair on his hand. So in this case and check with the doctors or research team for better results.

In , and and treatments are very expensive so before using do as much research as possible otherwise, people will end up like my friend who lost $10000 and all the hair.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 5.0

The response presents a clear negative position and supports it with a relevant personal example, which is its strongest aspect. However, frequent spelling, grammar, and word-choice errors, along with repetitive and underdeveloped reasoning, regularly obscure meaning and limit the persuasiveness of the argument.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

5.0

The task is addressed with a clear negative position and relevant supporting points and a personal example, but ideas are repetitive, only partly developed, and the conclusion merely restates rather than strengthens the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

5.0

There is an overall structure with paragraphs and basic linking devices such as firstly and furthermore, but progression is sometimes confusing, transitions like eventhrough and althrought are misused, and referencing is inconsistent.

Lexical Resource

5.0

The vocabulary range is limited and attempts at less common wording are undermined by frequent spelling and word-form errors such as advertsing, perminent, knowledege, and endup, though meaning is usually recoverable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

4.5

Sentence structures are attempted with some complex forms, but frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, tense, articles, and punctuation regularly reduce accuracy and sometimes impede understanding.