Mandatory Childhood Vaccination vs Parental Choice

Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?

Annotated response

9 correction notes

Showing 9 correction notes.

In today’s era, the and plummeting health and health indexes respectively are dwindling to a harrowing extent. In such a case, some people side with an opinion that it should be obligatory for all the parents to have their children vaccinated, while opine that it is a subjective choice to go for the vaccination of their children. I find myself agreeing with the former statement and in the paragraphs to come, I shall proffer my viewpoints on the topic.

The dip in the health statuses is a very common and horrendous situation these days, with novel viruses and pathogens coming into the picture. Humanity is going through a ghastly time where every single individual seems to be in the clutch of perils. Therefore, it becomes all the more significant for the people to bolster their health right from the beginning of their lives and ensure that their children are vaccinated and immunised against various diseases that could their health in the times to come. For instance, various menacing viruses and pathogens in the past have been eradicated due to vaccination and this way, various causes of epidemics and plagues are nowhere to be found today.

Talking about the added advantages of early immunisation, it is significant from various other aspects such as as well. For instance, getting a child vaccinated against the perilous pathogens can help him/her ward off the economic breakdown that s/he might suffer in the future due to enervated immunity, and not getting vaccinated could cost his/her family members heavily not only from the viewpoint of money spent on the treatment but also their emotional drain in the . Adding to that, getting vaccinated might help one to getting attacked by pathogens of similar nature. For example, the Covid-19 vaccine helped people tackle well from the mutated strand of the virus- Omicron. Hence, this makes immunisation and the earlier it gets done, the better.

Though some might say that immunising children is seemingly pedantic and finicky, one must not forget that prevention is better than the cure.

Therefore, we may state that vaccination and immunisation of children should be made compulsory for the parents, and there is .

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response presents a clear, consistent position with well-developed supporting points, including relevant examples such as disease eradication and the Covid-19 vaccine. Its main limitation is heavily inflated and sometimes inaccurate vocabulary, which at points obscures meaning and weakens precision despite a logical overall structure.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

7.0

The essay fully addresses the question with a clear position favouring compulsory vaccination, develops main ideas on health protection and economic benefits, and supports them with relevant examples, though some claims are asserted rather than fully substantiated.

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas progress logically across clear paragraphs with a range of cohesive devices, though some linking is mechanical and transitions within sentences occasionally feel forced.

Lexical Resource

6.0

There is a wide vocabulary with attempted less common items, but frequent inaccurate or unnatural usage, such as 'frailing and plummeting health', 'mutated strand', and 'prophylactic processes', reduces precision and occasionally obscures meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

A variety of complex structures, including relative clauses, conditionals, and subordination, is used flexibly, with errors that are occasional and generally do not impede understanding.