Loss of Species vs Other Environmental Problems

8 Sample Responses · Bands 7.0–8.0

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Sample responses and feedback

Response 01

Must fixSuggested

The issue of environmental problems has become a pressing concern in modern times. While some argue that the loss of some particular species of plants and animals is the main environmental problem, others contend that there are more critical issues that demand immediate attention and action. This essay will discuss both perspectives and present arguments for why the loss of biodiversity might not be the central environmental problem of our time.

Those who are against this notion say that the primary environmental problem lies in the presence of other pressing issues, such as climate change and pollution. The consequences of global warming, including extreme weather events, rising sea levels, and disruptions to ecosystems, affect all living beings, not just specific plant or animal species. For example, the emission of greenhouse gases from industrial activities and deforestation has led to a rise in global temperatures, resulting in the melting of polar ice caps and threatening the survival of numerous species. Additionally, air and water pollution from various sources have detrimental effects on entire ecosystems, endangering the health and well-being of both humans and wildlife.

On the contrary, those who think that the loss of certain animals and plants is the main environmental crisis in modern times argue that the process can disrupt the ecological balance, leading to negative cascading effects on the entire ecosystem. Coral reefs, often referred to as the "rainforests of the sea," are home to an incredible diversity of marine life. The decline of certain coral species due to factors like ocean warming and acidification not only affects the corals themselves but also endangers the countless species that rely on these ecosystems for food and shelter. Thus, it starts a chain reaction that puts the whole world in danger.

In conclusion, although the loss of particular species of plants and animals is an important environmental concern, it is crucial to recognise that there are other pressing issues, such as climate change and pollution, that demand urgent attention. By addressing environmental challenges effectively, we can ensure a sustainable and healthy planet for all living creatures.

Score details

Response 01
Estimated band7.0/ 9

Overall assessment

The response fully addresses both views with a clear, consistent position and well-chosen supporting examples such as coral reef decline and greenhouse gas emissions. Its strongest aspect is fluent, well-organised argumentation, while the main limitation is a somewhat formulaic structure and occasional imprecision in linking expressions and wording.

TR

Task Response

Both perspectives are discussed with relevant, developed examples, and a clear opinion is maintained throughout, though the position is expressed somewhat indirectly rather than fully extended.

7.0
CC

Coherence and Cohesion

Ideas progress logically across clear paragraphs with effective cohesive devices, though phrases like 'On the contrary' are used slightly mechanically to signal contrast.

7.0
LR

Lexical Resource

Vocabulary is flexible and largely precise, with good collocations such as 'ecological balance' and 'cascading effects', alongside occasional less natural phrasing.

7.0
GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

A range of complex structures is used with good control, including subordinate clauses and participial constructions, with only minor, non-impeding errors.

7.0

What to work on next

State your personal position more explicitly in the introduction and conclusion, and refine the use of linking devices so transitions match the logical relationship between ideas.

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Part 2

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