Causes and Solutions for Rising Weight and Declining Fitness

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Annotated response

17 correction notes

Showing 17 correction notes.

The is responsible for making people obese and . are the predominant reasons. Adding some physical exercise and taking a balanced diet are the best solutions to overcome this obstacle.

To commence with, currently, people are doing jobs round the clock, and has made their schedule hectic. Resultantly, they do not get time to work out to make themselves healthy. In other words, MNCs, do not let the employees have some spare time for themselves. Even they do not get time to take a meal on time. This sedentary lifestyle makes people overweight, and gradually, they start to lose their physical agility. Furthermore, are obese genetically. To elaborate, the parents of a child are fat, and similarly, their offspring possess the same physical structure. Due to their obesity, they many diseases such as diabetes, high blood pressure, cholesterol,

Consequently, they remain inactive. Alternatively, there are many solutions to curb this problem and make people robust. Firstly, if individuals are job holders, then employers can give them some time off to work out. It can be done by introducing some fitness machines such as treadmills, . In this way, staff can keep themselves in good health. a balanced diet is also conducive to making people less overweight and healthy. For instance, if a multitude eats good food which is healthy for their body, then they can remain instead of eating canned food. Healthy food is good for both body and mind. Adding fruits and salad to a diet is for robust bodies.

To conclude, in consideration of the above analysis, it is used ostensibly that busy time table and genes are the primary reasons for physical exercises and eating a balanced diet can ameliorate the fitness level of . Then they will be able to lead a healthy life.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response clearly addresses both parts of the task, identifying hectic work schedules and genetics as causes and proposing workplace exercise time and balanced diets as solutions, with generally logical paragraph progression. The main limitation is imprecise and sometimes misused vocabulary and idioms, along with recurring grammatical errors that occasionally strain clarity, particularly in the conclusion.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

6.0

The essay addresses both causes and solutions with a relevant position and some developed support, but ideas such as the genetics point remain unevenly developed and the conclusion is partially obscured by error.

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0

Paragraphing is logical and cohesive devices are used throughout, though some links like 'Consequently' and 'Alternatively' are mechanically or inaccurately applied.

Lexical Resource

6.0

There is adequate range with some apt collocations such as 'sedentary lifestyle', but idiom misuse ('get a victim', 'icing on the cake', 'is used ostensibly') and wordiness reduce precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0

A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but frequent errors in articles, agreement ('making a persons fat'), and clause construction repeatedly affect accuracy without fully blocking meaning.