Causes and Solutions for Rising Weight and Declining Fitness

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Annotated response

10 correction notes

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Although this century has seen tremendous developments in health care services, millions of people worldwide are now . The aim of this essay is to investigate the factors that lead to these problems and propose some possible methods to deal with them.

One of the most reasons for the increase in people’s average weight is clearly the unhealthy . Traditional food using natural ingredients is now being by the masses. Instead, nowadays, the mass-produced one, fast-food, high in cholesterol and chemical additives, seems to be a more appealing option because it saves people time. This tendency has a corrosive effect on people’s health, especially . Additionally, this problem could be attributed to the sedentary lifestyle of people. Idleness is alluring and modern people are too busy with their work to set aside a reasonable amount of time to work out or . The outcome of such idleness is getting out of shape and even losing some cognitive vitality.

Measures against this are, in effect, abundant. First and foremost, people need to be better informed of nutrition and its implications. With a better understanding of the malign influence of junk foods, they may about what to eat. Moreover, in increasing its population’s level of fitness. Banning the advertising of unhealthy foods and foods of unclear origin could also have far-reaching effects. What’s more, obese people need to incorporate more physical exercises into their everyday life, making it a must to complete before the end of the day.

In conclusion, unhealthy diets and the sedentary lifestyle are held most responsible for the worsening in people’s health. There are, however, a number of ways that can be used to ease the severity of this problem modern people have to face.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response is well-organised and fully addresses both parts of the task, presenting clear causes and plausible measures with logical progression. Its main limitation is some inaccurate or forced word choice, such as 'overweighted', 'contingent reasons' and 'malign influence', which occasionally blurs meaning despite otherwise strong language control.

IELTS criteria

How each score was decided

Task Response

7.0

The response addresses both causes and measures clearly, develops each idea with explanation, and maintains a consistent position throughout, though support is sometimes general rather than concrete.

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0

Ideas are organised into coherent paragraphs with logical progression and varied cohesive devices, though some linking phrases are used slightly mechanically.

Lexical Resource

7.0

The response shows a wide vocabulary with attempts at less common items, but occasional unnatural or inaccurate word choices reduce precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0

A wide range of complex structures is used with generally good control and frequent error-free sentences, with only minor lapses in naturalness.