Over the last few decades, rising obesity and a drop in people’s overall health and fitness have become a major concern in many countries, especially those in the developed world. This essay will consider two of the main causes of this problem, along with some possible solutions. One of the main so much food and drink contains large amounts of carbohydrates. Junk food, for example, tends to contain high quantities of cheap pasta and rice, while soft drinks often contain large amounts of sugar. If these carbohydrates are not burned up through exercise, they will simply be converted by the body into fat, leading to weight gain. However, people are getting less exercise, which means that not only will they gain weight, they will also experience lower levels of health and fitness. One of the main reasons for this lack of exercise is our increasingly sedentary lifestyle. Whereas in the past, many people used to be engaged in manual labour such as factory work or farming, today they are more likely to be sat in an office hunched over a computer. people are more likely to commute to work by car, rather than walk or cycle, and we can see why people are and less healthy. There are some , such as a sugar tax. In countries where this has been introduced, such as the U.K., this has led to reducing the amount of sugar in their products. I also feel that higher levels of tax on petrol might make car drivers think twice about whether they should really . Ultimately, however, it is up to individuals to take more responsibility for their own health and fitness. They could make the effort to walk more and , and make better choices regarding their diet using information that is widely available on the Internet. In conclusion, sugary, carbohydrate-rich foods are one of the main causes of increasing weight, and this problem has been exacerbated by our increasingly sedentary lifestyle. However, government initiatives such as a sugar tax and encouraging people to adopt a more active lifestyle can help counteract the problem.
Causes and Solutions for Rising Weight and Declining Fitness
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Annotated response
7 correction notes
Overall assessment
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response directly addresses both causes and solutions with a clear position, well-developed ideas, and relevant supporting detail, making it the strongest aspect of the essay. The main limitation is occasional imprecision in expression and a few grammatical slips that slightly reduce the polish rather than hinder understanding.
IELTS criteria
How each score was decided
Task Response
7.5The response fully addresses both parts of the question, presenting clear causes (carbohydrate-rich diets, sedentary lifestyles) and well-explained measures (sugar tax, petrol tax, individual responsibility) with relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
7.5Ideas progress logically from causes to solutions with effective paragraphing and cohesive devices, though some transitions such as 'However' at the start of the second cause are slightly mechanical.
Lexical Resource
7.5Vocabulary is flexible and largely precise, with good collocations like 'sedentary lifestyle', 'exacerbated', and 'counteract the problem', despite occasional awkward phrasing such as 'cheaper pasta and rice' framing of junk food.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.5A wide range of complex structures is used with generally good control, including conditionals and relative clauses, though minor errors such as 'is because so much food' and 'more likely to be sat' occur.