Nowadays, obesity has been among populations in many parts around the world, especially in developed countries. This essay the causes relating to and solutions to . The prominent cause of obesity is a social transformation. In these days, is becoming more competitive than in the past, which makes people have to work harder to earn money for living and survive. As a consequence, they tend to have less time to exercise. Furthermore, preparing food themselves on a daily basis can be impossible to many people as they have a tight schedule of work on weekdays, therefore, ready-to-eat meals and junk food becomes their choice of food, . in a long-term to various health issues such as heart disease, diabetes, and obesity. Although these problems have caused a great threat to public health in many areas around the world, it can be tackled if these measures are taken cautiously. Governments investment in nutrition promotion and educational programmes to on the importance of being healthy. For instance, running a campaign to encourage people to cook food themselves fast food, which home cooked meals contain more balanced in nutrients than processed food. Another approach is that governments should building facilities that are accessible to of citizens. For example, build more public gyms and parks. People will be more aware to exercise when they have time. In , to decrease the number of overweight population in is both a responsibility for governments and citizens. Information must be passed through generations to promote healthy lifestyle and increase both physical and emotional .
Causes and Solutions for Rising Weight and Declining Fitness
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Annotated response
18 correction notes
Overall assessment
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the task, presenting plausible causes such as workplace demands and processed food, followed by reasonable government-led solutions with examples. Its strongest aspect is the clear overall structure, while the main limitation is the high frequency of grammatical and word-form errors that repeatedly disrupt accuracy, along with some imprecise phrasing.
IELTS criteria
How each score was decided
Task Response
6.0The response addresses both causes and measures with a relevant, if somewhat generalized, development of ideas and examples, though some points remain unevenly elaborated.
Coherence and Cohesion
6.0Ideas are arranged in a logical paragraph structure with workable linking devices, but cohesion is sometimes mechanical and referencing is occasionally faulty.
Lexical Resource
6.0Vocabulary range is adequate for the task with some appropriate collocations, yet imprecise expressions such as 'tackle with them' and 'loss in nutrients' reduce precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
5.5Sentence forms are varied and mostly convey meaning, but frequent errors in verb tense, articles, and agreement, including 'will discussed' and 'governments should increased', limit accuracy.