Nowadays, should be how to become good members of society by the parents or school. This essay is going to discuss different views on the subject. To begin, some people may argue that knowing how to be a good citizen is part of education and, as a result of that, schools should be the institutions the role of teaching these rules; however, of the society, I strongly believe that the parents should be worried about the behavior of their children and as a consequence of that, they should be the first ones to by following basic rules of common sense. Although this point of view should be shared by the majority of people, that children spend most of their time at school studying subjects that have real applications in life, thus part of these hours should be devoted to . In addition to that, parents tend to spend less time each day with because of work, therefore the few moments shared together with family should be enjoyable and not about teaching. On the other hand, teachers are paid full time to educate children so they have to this duty. All in all, both parents and schools need to cooperate to accomplish the mission of education in the best way, thus more time should be spent talking about the correct behavior of a good citizen.
Teaching Children to Be Good Members of Society
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Annotated response
13 correction notes
Overall assessment
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses both views and states a clear personal opinion, which is its strongest aspect, though the supporting ideas remain thinly developed and at times muddled. Language is generally understandable but limited by recurring word-choice and grammatical inaccuracies, and paragraphing is weak.
IELTS criteria
How each score was decided
Task Response
6.0Both views are addressed and a position is presented, but the argument is unevenly developed, ideas overlap between paragraphs, and the conclusion does not clearly resolve the stated opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
6.0Progression is broadly clear with some linking devices, but cohesion is mechanical, with repeated connectors such as 'as a result of that' and occasional misuse of 'thus' and 'therefore'.
Lexical Resource
6.0Vocabulary is adequate for the task with some attempt at less common items, but there are noticeable word-choice errors such as 'charged of', 'thought', 'sons', and 'worried about'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
6.0A mix of simple and complex structures is used, but errors in article use, verb forms, and sentence construction appear frequently, though meaning is generally still clear.